


Moonbeam

by TheModernChromatic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Accelerated Aging, M/M, Vampire!Erwin, Were-Creatures, undergound societies, werewolf!eren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2015-01-08
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:22:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1763995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheModernChromatic/pseuds/TheModernChromatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even monsters spare lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Vampire Erwin and his Little Werewolf](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/54445) by tumblr user mizorekibishi/mizozoh. 



_the acquisition_

The older you get, the more important tradition and precedence becomes. As open minded as he was for his age and status, when the order came, he knew he had no choice but to obey. He didn’t even question it, didn’t hesitate for a moment. He explained it to them and ignored her tears as best he could, and they died without a fight. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to completely obey.

Technically, he wasn’t disobeying, since the order had come to take two heads, not three, but the expectation went that he would kill a third upon its discovery. Yet he couldn’t. The little thing was so helpless. He wouldn’t even have to kill it himself if he wanted it dead. He’d just leave it there; it couldn’t survive on its own, even with as quickly as they grew in that state. But he wouldn’t leave it there either, not with the promise he’d made. He’d never tell the Society about the promise, but rather call it a personal obligation, or an altruistic sparing, or an experimental investment. Whatever he thought they’d like to hear best.

Either way, on that day he had gathered the little ball of fur in a blanket and carried it out tucked under his arm as the flames he’d set into motion purged the dead of their nonexistent crimes. But that was the mandate. Purge them. You’re closest to them, and they trust you. They’ll understand. They had understood, and he knew that with both of them, they could’ve killed him instead, and ordinarily the job would’ve been done by no less than three of his kind, but the Society knew about their alliance and had apparently decided that he was expendable enough to risk sending him on his own. If he hadn’t made the promise, he would most certainly be dead, and it was only under its pretenses that he was alive. It made the warm little life in the blanket that much more precious to him.

After much deliberation, the Society had finally approved his ‘experimental investment,’ only after he’d presented a mass of historical evidence proving precedence--precedence was a priority to the Society, since change meant risks--and they’d personally evaluated the threat and tasted for pedigree. Then, of course there was the mandate that he would personally destroy any and all resulting mutts, but that was a given. It was why the purge had been ordered in the first place, after all.

He promised many things in that time, but the one thing he never promised was to not grow attached.

Dogs were too great of companions for him to promise that.

~

_five years later, the incident_

Five years of keeping Eren had done nothing for the amount of control Erwin had over him. He’d had difficulty when Eren started growing and his scent had changed and grown more appealing until Erwin forced himself to ignore it. Still, Eren had a habit of pushing his limits, and most recently that had come to include escaping the manor. Erwin cursed the fact that this would be the time Petra’s clan was going through a partial usurpation and needed her support to keep the balance. He could run after Eren and catch him no problem, but Eren had managed to make it into the nearby residential area, so Erwin was forced to run at a speed acceptable for humans.

“Eren!” He tried not to shout too loudly, again angry at Eren for running out in broad daylight since the early morning sun had already brought out a few early birds. He kept running, though Eren was faster than he was allowing himself to run, given the strange loping half-canine run he was doing with his hands and feet. Erwin had managed to squeeze a hat on him, since Eren had been refusing to tuck his ears away as of late, but Erwin could tell the rough running was threatening to dislodge it. Eren wasn’t running to anywhere in particular. His only goal was ‘away from Erwin’ so Erwin just had to chase him until the pup got tired since he himself wouldn’t tire of a chase at this speed.

‘I am going to put you in a box and leave you by the side of the road, you little mutt,’ Erwin cursed under his breath as he chased Eren through neatly kept yards and one poorly-timed sprinkler system. After what seemed like hours, Eren reached a nearby park and slowed for a second to take in such a wide open space. The openness of the yard Erwin had for him was vast, but it was nothing in comparison to a park, clearly several acres. Erwin thought Eren would slow to sniff something, but he heard his keeper’s footsteps and bolted again.

Being the chaser rather than the chase-ee, Erwin forgot momentarily that Eren was a predator with inborn instincts to chase and hunt, and he was reminded of this as soon as Eren caught sight of a jogger on the park’s running path and started sprinting after him. The jogger made it to a thicket of trees before Eren tackled him to the ground and Erwin ran full speed in the cover of the trees to reach the pair. He pulled Eren back and lifted him by the collar of his shirt, nearly completely consumed by the idea of punishing Eren, but for the sudden scent that caught his attention.

“The fuck, asshole? That little shit just bit me!”

Erwin’s eyes locked on Eren’s muzzle immediately, wholly human, but soaked. Blood.

He muttered a silent apology to the jogger before hitting him over the head and knocking him out cold.

~

_four years prior_

“Erwin!”

The sound of Eren’s little feet echoed across the halls, the dull slaps of bare skin on marble flooring distinct. The pitter-patter gave way to more rapid sounds, the click of nails on marble instead, and Erwin knew exactly how much time he’d have to turn and open his arms. He spun, his timing immaculate, and caught the little ball of fur as it sailed toward him. He held it out in front of himself with both hands underneath the forelegs, as if disapproving until the little thing stopped squirming and hung there panting loudly.

“Eren, what did I tell you about my study?”

The little, furry ears tucked back then disappeared as the little thing whimpered.

“No transforming in the study,” he repeated as if chastised, all fur gone.

“That’s right.” Erwin set him down with a pat on the head. “What are you doing up? Isn’t it your bedtime? Where’s Petra?”

“I ate her!” Eren bounced forward with his hands shaping little claws but recoiled when Erwin gave him a look to let him know the joke was out of taste. “I’m hiding.”

“It’s time for you to go to bed,” Erwin repeated, eyeing the books open on his desk with some preemptive lethargy. Just because he didn’t need to sleep didn’t mean could sit for hours doing menial tasks. The concept of time was a fairly new idea to him, not that he hadn’t needed it at length long ago, but new in the sense that he’d forgotten about it entirely until he inherited a certain pet that, unlike him, needed consistent hours (or any hours at all for that matter) of sleep to function.

“I don’t wanna!” Eren stamped his feet and his ears appeared again, tucked back in anger rather than shame this time.

“I’m going to get Petra up here,” Erwin warned, sliding a hand into his pocket for the phone there. While it had taken some getting used to, Erwin found that the modern technology used by humans was quite handy. Especially for summoning nannies to look after unruly pups.

“No!” Eren bounded away and ran under the desk. Erwin let his phone slide back into his pocket momentarily, walked calmly over to the desk and sat down on his haunches there, one hand on the top of the desk to brace himself.

“Eren, it’s bed time.”

Eren shook his head, his face still scrunched up in distaste.

“I’m not tired!”

“Why aren’t you tired? Didn’t Erd and Gunter play with you today?”

Eren stuck out his bottom lip and crossed his arms.

“Not tired,” he insisted.

“Just go in your room and lay down.”

“I wanna stay here!”

Erwin sighed and reached both hands under the desk to draw out the wriggling little boy and place him in his lap as he sat himself in the chair at the desk.

“You can only stay here for a little while, got it?”

Eren’s eyes went wide and he nodded enthusiastically before turning a circle in Erwin’s lap and laying on his side. Erwin watched for a moment before he reached for one of the waiting books. He hadn’t even looked at the page before Eren nudged his arm insistently with his head. Erwin chuckled softly and freed a hand of the book to scratch at Eren’s head.

In a way, it was difficult to place Eren in his head. He didn’t age normally, for starters, and so he didn’t look his age, nor did he act it. Erwin’s best theory for that was that in his human form, Eren would age like a normal child, up to around age forty when his kind mysteriously stopped aging. Not that Erwin had much to say about the mysterious absence of the effect of time on a body. Then, in Eren’s canine form, he aged much faster, and then transforming back into a human brought along an equivalent development, which was why it had only taken Eren a few weeks to go from a blind and entirely helpless ball of fur to a human child with teeth, readily eating solid foods. With his phasing back and forth, it had only taken Eren about a year to age up to what looked to be nearly four in human years, though his canine form was still incredibly small in comparison to the monsters his parents had been.

A little yawn and a resigning sigh, followed by the slowing of Eren’s heart rate alerted Erwin of Eren falling asleep in his lap. He didn’t like being tuned to hear Eren’s heart all of the time--it made him seem too much like prey--but he couldn’t help his own hearing, and at least Eren smelled more like a dog than anything appealing enough to eat most of the time.

Though, that wasn’t entirely the case. It seemed that there were times in which Eren smelled exactly like prey, and increasingly so as he aged. Erwin couldn’t recall the pup’s parents ever smelling so distinctly human. Unless they were in their canine forms, they didn’t smell like animals, but they didn’t smell like humans either. Theirs was an earthy smell, more of a musk than the distinctive sweetness of humans. Erwin wrote off Eren’s unnatural scent as temporary, only for while he was growing, since he and the Society had both tasted Eren’s blood to determine its pedigree and had declared him purebreed and not a human/canine abomination or a human turned canine. Erwin had seen for himself when he was just days old, born a wolf. And then, he looked so much like his mother. His father’s features were visible too, but Grisha was old blood from Germany and hadn’t had much interest in associating with anyone not of his kin. But Karla had been much friendlier and had welcomed Erwin’s jurisdiction over the region, so seeing her features on Eren was that much more striking.

It reminded Erwin of his promise.

Even as the ‘Duke’--as the Society had ordained--of the entire eastern seaboard of the ‘newest’ land controlled by the Society, north America, Erwin remained vigilant in his promise. He had higher orders of business, sure, which was why he’d sought out Petra to nanny the boy, but he did everything in his power to keep Eren safe, Petra included.

The entirety of his staff, almost completely hired on for Eren’s sake, were werecreatures like Eren himself, all some of the oldest of their kind to ensure Eren’s safety. Petra was just the crown jewel of the bunch, a weregrizzly with incredible motherly instincts and a need to satisfy them after she had her cubs killed by a rival clan. Erwin sometimes doubted whether or not he could actually take her in a fight if need be. The others were a loyal assortment, all top-tier in their clans’ hierarchies, purebreed, and interested in ensuring the safety of whom the Society assured Erwin was likely to be the only werewolf not in Germany or the Balkans where the clans had originated.

As to how many different types of werecreatures there were, Erwin didn’t know. There were the most prominent ones--cats, bears, coyotes, the occasional tiger, and of course wolves, but then there were others as well. One of the chefs he’d hired was a stallion, and he’d met an eagle once, but there were too many to keep track of. Aside from that, it wasn’t his job to keep track of the clans and their activities. Most were small and autonomous, but there was another, higher member of the Society designated to keeping track of them. He had only to worry about his own kind becoming too numerous in any one area, and served as an executioner to any being the Society deemed unworthy of immortality.

As to how the Society became the top of the underworld, Erwin didn’t know. He’d seen much of history, but the Society had existed long before he did. Perhaps it had something to do with getting to choose the best and brightest to join their ranks or how quickly they could grow their numbers without creating hybrids or bitten creatures unable to control themselves. There was a period of poor control for his kind, and it was often this sensitive time that determined whether or not the recipient would be allowed to ‘live’ so to speak, but it was very brief in the scope of things. Erwin had never personally changed anyone, since his company was always others like himself or werecreatures who wouldn’t change anyway, not that they smelled good enough to eat.

It only made him more concerned for Eren.

~

_at the manor, after the incident_

Erwin was livid. He’d thought that giving Eren a little freedom would be a good idea, since the boy would’ve been about eight as a human and had only had private studies and no interaction with peers his own age, but Eren had proven himself unable to handle it. If it weren’t for his aversion to killing, Erwin would’ve put the poor thing Eren bit out of its misery, but a human killed by his kind in his territory was his business. The Society had ensured that all of his kin had access to donated blood as necessary, but feeding happened seldomly, so getting hungry enough to kill was a punishable crime. Killing for the thrill of it most often meant death. They would, however, look even kindly upon the killing of a bitten mutt, but there was no way to tell what had happened.

Eren hadn’t been completely in his canine form at the time, and then he was still young enough that his bites weren’t potent, not that Erwin would know what it would do to humans since Eren had bitten him several times but wouldn’t be able to change him even if he were old enough. So Erwin’s solution had been to call Gunter to bring around the car and hauled the jogger back to the manor to observe him. Erwin had been angry enough at Eren to lock him in the cage a member of the Society had given him as a joke. Eren sat in it whimpering and apologizing, not quite realizing that he could reach through the cage door and unlock it himself. He could never bring himself to yell when he was angry, which only made Eren more cautious around him since it was difficult to tell exactly what he was feeling most of the time. Erwin didn’t like playing bad guy, but Eren was old enough to recognize that biting wasn’t acceptable.

Erwin paced the wine cellar silently fuming. He’d hefted the cage down to the cellar himself since he felt the need to keep an eye on Eren himself in case the stupid thing tried something else. He could feel Eren’s strange green eyes on him, occasionally darting over to the chair where the unconscious jogger was tied up. Whenever Erwin glanced at the cage, Eren’s eyes would change to the glowing gold of his canine form as he changed in an effort to make himself feel smaller.

The opening of the cellar door nearly scared Erwin out of his skin and for a second he laughed at himself for being afraid of anything. It wasn’t as if he were technically alive, and then the Society prefered killing their own kind in public trials, not ambushes. To his surprise, though, it was Petra, a small, dark plastic-looking bag in one hand.

“Honestly, sir. If I’d known you were this bad with children I would’ve sent you to deal with the grizzlies.”

She placed the bag in his unexpecting hands and strode forward in a fluid motion to open the cage to Eren. Free, Eren leapt into her arms, half-canine and half-human, licking her face and wagging his tail furiously. Erwin took a moment to glance at the object in his hands. Oh. She’d been in the fridge.

“When’s the last time you ate?” She looked up at him, looking utterly tiny holding Eren on her hip while he panted and wagged his tail incessantly. Eren should’ve been far too big for her to hold like that, but she was, of course, no ordinary woman, even as a human.

“Awhile ago,” Erwin confessed. He couldn’t remember, but Petra must’ve been keeping track. Or it was his mood. He was always much moodier, much less alert when he was hungry. But then, his kind didn’t feel hunger until it made them erratic and more alert, more prone to pouncing on anything with a pulse.

“Eat then. You can deal with this after.” She set Eren down and he dutifully grabbed her hand and stuck to his side, all signs of rebellion gone. Little mutt.

“Thank you, Petra, but this is a little…” he turned the bag over in his hand. Puncturing it and draining it would be easy, but he wasn’t accustomed to it. “Unceremonious,” he finished.

“Well I’m sorry I didn’t have time to bring down the fine china on my way to fixing your mess.” She rolled her eyes and something in her maternal tone made Erwin feel ungrateful enough to put a hole in the bag with a fingernail and bring it to his mouth, even though his own mother had been dead for centuries.

“A wine cellar? Really? You don’t even drink wine.” Petra watched him approvingly, saving her disapproving looks for their surroundings.

“It came with the manor, wine included.” Erwin explained between sips. He hated how cold his nourishment was. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had it hot, straight from the source, a fading throbbing under his lips--he forced himself to speak again to clear his mind. “It’s funny. I’m older than every wine in here.”

“Are you, now?” Petra hummed appreciatively.

A sharp gasp drew their attention. Erwin heard the blood pounding around the body tied to the chair, suddenly fueled by adrenaline and fear. The scent would’ve made him ravenous if he weren’t nearly full and so accustomed to ignoring it.

“Oh, he’s awake.” Petra hummed again, as if it were nothing.

“Who the fuck--what the shit--mothercunt…” The jogger looked around the dark basement with pupils blown in terror.

“Eloquent,” Erwin noted with a chuckle and Petra nodded.

“Where am I?” The voice was bleary and defeated until the boy’s eyes locked on Erwin. “You! You’re the motherfucker with the fucking demon kid that bit me!” It took him a moment to realize he was bound, at which point he strained furiously against his bindings.

“Unfortunately.” Erwin shot a glare at Eren, who ducked behind Petra. “I’ll need you to describe some things for me.” Erwin took a step closer but the kid reeled back against the chair.

“Stay the fuck back! Why am I tied up?”

Erwin stopped moving and straightened himself, preparing for to answer.

“The hell? Is that blood? Are you fucking drinking… like some kinda vampire or something?” If it were possible to move back farther in the chair, he did it.

Erwin realized he was still holding the mostly-empty bag and that, more importantly, he’d managed to smear a bit of it over his face from being forced to drink it from the bag and he sighed.

“See?” He turned to Petra. “This is why we use glasses and don’t drink from the bag like animals.”

“I’m taking that animal comment personally, Smith.”

The two tried to laugh, but the kid in the chair was busily and loudly freaking out, apparently under the impression that he’d fallen into the lair of some sadistic psycho serial killer and that he’d be drained of blood and killed. Erwin managed to quiet the kid by getting uncomfortably close to him and making him clam up.

“I don’t suppose it matters now,” Erwin said to Petra calmly. “Even if he was bitten, he knows now. I’m sure the Society values its secrets over its somewhat loose rules system.” He turned back to the kid. “I’m sorry, but you’ve really seen too much now. Nothing personal. I promise I’ll make it fast. I have to kill you now.”

Erwin drew back to lunge without a second thought, far faster than the panicking jogger knew was humanly possible. Everything happened at once--the jogger threw himself back hard enough to knock over the chair as Erwin lunged, only to stop halfway through to avoid striking a growling, bristling dark brown figure perched protectively on the boy and the overturned chair.

“Eren,” Erwin said, maintaining his calm facade but giving Eren a look that let him know how angry he was. “Move aside.”

Eren stayed, small but fully canine, growling with his teeth bared to the gums and his ears back.

“Petra, would you?” Erwin looked at her and gestured toward Eren, but when she moved to him, he snapped at her.

“Eren, you mutt,” she growled, unbuttoning her blouse. “I like these clothes too much to tear them right now.

Eren only growled louder, then barked like a chained guard dog, loud and aggressive, over and over.

“Eren, move, or you’ll get hurt.”

Petra was slightly less gentle in her form, but she was too big for Eren to bite her and do much damage. She was debatably too big for the cellar, but the master of the house had made a decision and Eren was standing in the way. Erwin couldn’t move Eren himself without hurting him more than Petra would, since Eren could actually get his teeth around a hand if he moved fast enough. If he didn’t, Erwin would have to throw him off, and there was entirely too much glass in the wine cellar for that to end well.

“Last warning, young man.” Petra was down to her underclothes, slipping her socks off her feet.

Eren stopped growling and recoiled, then circled around to the head of the terrified captive and sat down stubbornly, head hanging low and whimpering. Petra grabbed for her clothes with an angry sigh. She could drag Eren off without issue if he was being submissive again. Erwin waited patiently while Petra pulled her clothes back on. He could finish up in the cellar and trust her to reprimand Eren properly.

She grabbed him by the nape of the neck and he changed back mid-tug, the loose skin of his nape slipping out of her fingers to sit tightly around his naked human neck.

“Please don’t hurt him!” Eren was clearly trying to make himself seem cute, or at least worth listening to, but he only looked vulnerable, on the floor naked and small.

“Eren, this is your mistake. You need to learn that you have to listen to us or there will be consequences. Let this be a lesson to you.”

“Lesson?!” The captive started screaming about lessons and his life being involved until even Eren seemed to tire of it because he changed again and quieted the thing by putting his tail over the boy’s face. Eren turned to look up at Erwin again, making a puppydog face with his small and fearsome wolfish features and haunting golden eyes. The sight of it was strange and didn’t have the desired effect, but Erwin sighed and tipped the chair back onto its legs with a foot and Eren bounded off toward him happily, turning circles and panting.

“Alright, listen.”

The captive stopped blubbering.

“Those stories you heard about monsters when you were a kid were lies. In actuality, we’re all much worse.” A smile curled over Erwin’s lips to smell the boy’s fear again. “Now, there’s some truth to them. Eren bit you. He’s still young, and he wasn’t fully canine when he did it, but there’s still the possibility you’ll become a mutt, in which case I have to kill you.”

The boy started to protest, but Erwin silenced him with a hand in the air.

“Let me finish. We should know whether or not the bite was effective in a few weeks, during which you must remain here. Since Eren has so disobediently made a case for your life, you’ll be allowed to live if you don’t change. But of what you’ve seen here, you must forget all of it. If you ever breathe a word of it to anyone, you’ll be dead before sunrise of the next day--that’s a personal promise. Do you understand?”

The boy, perhaps seventeen or so, now that Erwin could get a clear look at him, nodded.

“Good. Keep that in mind. Now, I must apologize. I don’t normally welcome my guests in this way. What’s your name, son?”

Erwin strode around to untie the boy and gave him a warm smile when he stood from the chair and rubbed at his wrists.

“It’s, uh, Jean Kirschstein,” he looked at Erwin for a moment and added, “sir.”

~

_eight months after the acquisition_

Erwin had nothing to do while simultaneously having too much to do. By confining Eren to a small portion of the manor, he’d managed to keep the main of the house in presentable order. Society members were used to high living, but there was no need to set out more than courtesy glasses for the crowd. Coming to a conference hungry was in poor taste. There wasn’t much to be cleaned, no hors d'oeuvres to prepare, just long hours of waiting. Time wasn’t something that normally bothered Erwin. It came and it went, and without humans aging in his company, he had no scope of it. Years could pass in a blink, or days could last decades.

Time was crawling now. Most of his official business had been taken care of earlier or halted in light of the conference, so he was left with nothing official to do. But still there were menial tasks to take care of. Many of the Society members were into high fashion and held positions in the industry whereas Erwin hardly followed any of the trends in the human world and couldn’t decide what to wear. His newest suit was from decades ago, though Petra had tried to assure him it was ‘vintage,’ he wasn’t about to wear it and make a fool of himself.

Of course, Petra knew better than him. She was still young enough to age, not quite at the point where the werecreatures stop aging, and had a good portion of contact with the human world since her kind was more docile than wolves and could be trusted not to bite and create mutts. Recently she’d been looking into school for Eren, but Erwin thought it a terrible idea, so she’d been busily coordinating playdates with some grizzly cubs. Then, she also knew about food and markets, which Erwin hadn’t needed for centuries, so she spent a great deal of time around humans and had a good sense of fashion. Better than Erwin, at least.

The first ring of the doorbell would’ve stopped Erwin’s heart if it were still beating. He insisted on opening the door and welcoming the guests himself, so it took him a split second to cross the manor and reach the door--and to not knock anything off the walls in his haste.

“Took you long enough, Smith,” growled a familiar and expectably early voice.

“Yes well, I’m a busy man, corporal, what can I say? Come in,” Erwin replied cooly, letting in his old friend.

“Everything’s almost clean,” Levi noted, crossing the foyer once permission was granted. “You know you should really reconsider a military career, commander.” A sly smile crossed the corporal’s face for a second as he straightened his decorated uniform.

“An older version of myself, I’m afraid. Humans are so wildly expendable, but sending them to die isn’t fun anymore. It stopped being fun in Vietnam, the bloodbath. All of it just wasted, and for what? Even the humans hated it.”

“Vietnam was the worst of it,” Levi agreed, nodding. “But that’s all barbaric technology these days. You remember the a-bombs? Those are nothing now.”

“Must be what took the fun out of it. So much exploding. It’s mass genocide more than fighting these days.”

“Hm, but you’ve always loved having men to boss around.”

Erwin tried to retort, enjoying the almost playful banter with the corporal, but the doorbell rang again as more guests arrived, perfectly on time as per the norm of the Society. Erwin stationed himself by the door to ensure that no guest would be left outside without an express invitation to come in. Had Levi not disappeared, Erwin would’ve reminded him that he still had men to boss around. The conference had been called of every high Society member in his area of jurisdiction. Every member there reported to him.

He’d started blindly inviting in members so they could enter and had forgotten how eccentric some of his subordinates were and was blindsided by a pair of arms wrapping around him. He stumbled backwards, sure that no one else was waiting outside--every successive member was late anyhow.

“Erwin! It’s been so long! I heard you scooped up the last werepup in the hemisphere! Where is he? I have some theories I’d like to test…”

Erwin peeled himself away from the assaulting guest and held them at arm’s length.

“Hanji, I can’t have you experimenting on my pets. He’s been trusted to me and me alone. If I let you have him for a second you’ll turn every human in my jurisdiction into a mutt.”

Hanji’s face fell and Erwin gave a reassuring pat to their head, then lead them to the main hall where he was about to begin his conference. He’d forgotten how slight Hanji’s frame was, though he knew how strong they were despite that. They’d been a dame once, then a man and had finally settled for neither one, preferring the comfort of having to conform to nothing.

“And where’s your pet, my dear?”

Hanji was the proud keeper of a weredeer, a quiet and docile werecreature in general. Hanji’s was, however, a most worried little thing. Hanji had kept it for experiments at first, then grew attached and kept him for a personal assistant.

“Too many vamps in one place make Moblit nervous. He’s nearby in the woods, I’m sure.”

Erwin nearly flinched to hear the v-word. Though that was what the humans had named them, most of the Society members disliked hearing it, since it either demoralized or incriminated or, strangely recently, romanticized them in rather unappealing ways. As if humans held any more appeal to them than livestock. He didn’t let it get to him though. It was common to hear, and some of his hired werecreatures liked to joke about it when they were feeling brave.

“Well, I should hope he has the sense to at least reveal himself if he’s grazing, since several of my servants like to hunt in those woods. They wouldn’t kill another werecreature, but if he’s too stupid to show who he is, there might be an accident.”

“Oh, yes!” Hanji’s eyes glittered. “Their societies punish them harshly for unwarranted killing. Except boars. I’ve been studying them!”

Erwin gave a humoring laugh and showed Hanji to their chair at the long, ovular table. Hanji sniffed their glass and set it down. Few had taken sips. Most were politely ignoring them, already full. Erwin hadn’t bothered to set out anything terribly fresh, so the aroma was weak. He prefered it that way, though, so his members could concentrate better.

“Well, let’s get on with things, shall we?”

There was a murmur of agreement. Erwin started with the basics, just briefings from the Society, heard several reports on situations and allowed some old friends to reunite. For the most part, the conference--no more than fifty members--was a tight-knit group, after having known one another for decades, and there were few quarrels among them. Until the topic of werecreatures came into play.

“So tell us, commander--” there were a few snickers to hear Erwin’s old title in use “--how are your resident pets treating you?”

“It helps to have servants who won’t wonder why their master doesn’t age.”

More questions followed. Most kept servants, but humans whom they paid too well for any secrets to leak out. In comparison, Erwin’s were paid far less, but he offered them protection and alliance and they gave him loyalty in return. In his few years as the Duke of the eastern seaboard, the relations with the clans had been at their most peaceful. His destruction of the last of the wolf clan had been the only slight agitation in that period, and many clans, as his servants informed him, saw it as a solidifying factor to his reliability. He’d proven that he could be trusted as much as he’d proven that he still obeyed orders from the Society. He tried to ignore how amicable he’d been with that clan, even if they were only a clan of three when he’d destroyed their unit. He wasn’t fully aware of what had happened to the others in their clan before being ordained Duke.

“Oh, do tell about that little scrappy stray you’ve taken in.”

Erwin nearly stiffened. Though his interaction with Eren was kept to a minimum, as Erwin prefered to be a benefactor to the boy more than a father, he couldn’t help but admit to being overly fond of the pup.

“He’s being raised by the regent alpha female of the eastern grizzlies,” Erwin replied cooly. A few members murmured again. The story about Petra’s loss had circulated quickly, which was how Erwin had found her in the first place. It was also a portion of why the conference had been called. The boars had unprovokedly attacked the alpha grizzly and his cubs while a majority of the clan was out hunting. Petra had lost her mate and two cubs in the attack, and the sudden action of the boars had caught the attention of the Society.

Someone made a flea joke and the control in the room was lost to laughter and more joking. Most Society members were fine with werecreatures, but saw them as animals or inferiors, so jokes were in abundance. As if to add to the chaos, the doors to the conference room opened with a burst of fur and yelling as a little dark figure darted in and under the long table, chased by a human Petra.

She apologized to Erwin first, then set about corralling Eren, but he made it impossible by staying under the large table. Erwin’s guests only laughed harder.

“Eren! Heel! Come!” Petra waved her hands at Eren and chased him, whistling.

Erwin silenced the room by clenching his fists, creating an inexplicable tremor in the room only the most powerful of his kind were capable of. The chaos died down quickly.

“Petra, he’s a wolf, not a dog, and a child at that. You can’t tell him to heel and expect him to listen.” Erwin bent down and extended a hand under the table. “Eren, I have guests. You have to behave yourself.”

A little whimper answered him and Eren crawled over feet, his little shirt loose on his canine body, a pair of underclothes hanging off of his tail. Erwin pulled them into place as Eren changed himself into his prefered half-human form, keeping his little tail and ears. Erwin pulled himself back into his chair and set Eren on his lap, dismissing Petra with a wave of his hand.

“Discipline is a necessary component for every creature,” he said simply, gesturing to Eren in his lap.

Eren looked around at the faces and turned to Erwin, terrified. He ducked his head and burrowed into Erwin’s jacket, provoking more laughter. Erwin went along with it, laughing a little himself and allowing Eren to get situated in his high-collar jacket, so his little head peeped out.

“Well, then, if that’s everything,” Erwin laughed. The conference was done. The boars were of no more concern until the Society made a decision.

Only Hanji and Levi stayed for long. Hanji cooed over Eren while Levi kept his distance.

“I wasn’t aware tonight was a full moon,” Levi said in good humor.

“Levi, that’s just a myth! Werewolves don’t--”

“I know that, shitty glasses, I was making a joke.”

“No, Eren changes as he pleases,” Erwin mumbled, preoccupied with the little thing still in his jacket, giving him a scratch behind the ears. “But he’s still a little moonbeam if you ask me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You must make your promises and keep your secrets.
> 
> * * *

_four weeks after the acquisition_

Erwin knew he would develop a fondness for the pup immediately. It happened that he’d employed a werecat as his housekeeper, though he hadn’t felt the need for additional staff until he’d realized the pup would need to eat, but his housekeeper’d had the answer. Aruro was very much in touch with the werecommunity, and with the Duke of the eastern seaboard looking to hire, he’d filled the positions quickly.

Erwin was grateful for such a quick and attentive staff, but he himself felt nothing paternal for the pup, and his housekeeper and chefs couldn’t offer more than nourishment and companionship. They could watch over the little thing during the day, but they needed sleep, and were all alpha males entirely unaccustomed to raising pups. Not to mention, they were a variety of different creatures--a werecat, werestallion, and werecoyote respectively. Even as a fellow canine, the werecoyote, Erd, was young and rambunctious, and didn’t have a mate, let alone pups. They watched and fed Eren during the day, but they couldn’t be bothered to help during the night.

It was with some luck that Erwin’s lack of a need of sleep covered what his staff couldn’t, though it took him away from his work at times. Still, night after night of looking after Eren, both a mewling infant and a whimpering pup had made Erwin desperate for a nanny.

It was one such night in which Eren learned to howl. Erwin spent days puzzling over how the howling hadn’t woken the sleeping werecreatures just a floor below, but he never got his answer. He figured he’d forgotten how difficult it was to wake someone from sleep. Erwin had been in his study at the time, glancing over paperwork which would make up an application to send to the Society, a request by a lower member to add someone to the Society, when the howling started.

He was almost frightened by it. Even though Eren still stumbled around uselessly in his canine form, the sudden sound of it in the middle of the night was a shock. Erwin had been in the pup’s room in an instant, lifting him out of the wooden crib (which Eren later chewed to pieces) and hoisting him over his shoulder.

“Eren?” He’d patted the little pup’s back slowly, lightly, but to no avail. Puzzled, he turned Eren over onto his back so he lay belly-up in Erwin’s arms. Eren howled, then whimpered, then changed halfway and cried, loud and brash, still toothless and pink. Erwin frowned at the scrunched-up little face as Eren got louder and louder. He’d never had children in his previous life, or even little siblings, and it had been centuries since he’d held a baby. Eren could’ve been four months old as a human child, but it didn’t change the fact that he still couldn’t sleep through the night. Every night for four weeks had been the same, with Eren waking and crying, but Erwin had never heard him howl before.

“Shhh.” Erwin brought his lips close to Eren’s ear and hushed him, rocking softly, but the whole task of it felt like a chore. He sighed and headed for the kitchen, rocking Eren softly and hoping he wasn’t making the crying worse. He wasn’t terribly familiar with the kitchen, since he only ever ate when he needed to, and most times Aruro brought it for him, back before he needed any additional servants. Eren wailed louder and Erwin stared down at him wondering how such a tiny thing could make such a large sound, and silently wished for more than just a mild amusement toward the child. Maybe if he could see Eren as his son, taking care of him wouldn’t be so tedious.

He was left grumbling to himself, reading the label on a bottle of formula and hoping he hadn’t heated it too much, since he couldn’t check it on his wrist like the package advised, what with his perception of heat being quite different from what Eren’s would be. He could feel heat well, but as to what temperature started to cause pain, he wasn’t aware, since it took an immense amount of heat to begin to damage his skin. Eren, however, seemed fine with the temperature it was and eventually took to the bottle somewhat fussily.

After finishing two, Erwin expected Eren to yawn and get tired, but he just changed back to his canine form and squirmed to be free of Erwin’s grasp. It was quite a contrast, really, Erwin noted. In his human form, Eren was rather helpless, loud and messy, not that he was much quieter or cleaner in his other form, but as a canine Eren was already walking, albeit very clumsily, and had started to gnaw on things (Erwin’s fingers in particular) with evidence of teeth coming in.

Erwin set the pup down on the couch as he seated himself, careful to ensure Eren stay away from the edge. There’d be no sleeping from either of them. Erwin entertained Eren with his fingers, just wiggling them in front of his little muzzle while the pup tried to bite at them as they passed. He figured it’d be a simple task, just keep him occupied long enough for him to get tired again so Erwin could go back to work, but after several minutes, he was beginning to find Eren’s energy nearly insufferable. Eren noticed the motion of his own tail and took to trying to catch it and Erwin withdrew his hand. He still had a lot to worry about, what with the society still breathing down his neck about keeping Eren in the first place. He was busy dwelling on the thought of paperwork and the increasingly apparent task of hiring a nanny. He didn’t notice Eren stop to sniff the air, and stick his muzzle up until he started howling again.

“Eren, hush,” Erwin reprimanded a bit too harshly. He hadn’t meant to, but he’d put too much force behind his words and had caused a little tremor to shake the ground. He wasn’t used to getting angry at anything and he’d forgotten the kind of power his kind had when provoked. He ran a hand over Eren’s back as an apology and scratched a little behind his ears. When Eren started to gnaw on his hand again, Erwin shook Eren’s tail where he could see it and Eren’s focus shifted.

Erwin sighed, watching his hands. With Eren beside him, it was hard not to feel the crushing guilt of knowing what he’d stolen from the pup. Immortality could take sickness and aging, lethargy, frequent hunger, chills, and sweating, but it could not take conscience. At first it had made him feel unreal, never growing old or feeling tired, but his conscience had grounded him. He could be a monster in the eyes of humans, but he could not assuage the feeling of guilt when taking a life. And he’d taken two, just weeks ago. Eren’s tiny growls were nowhere near as deep or stirring as his parents’, but still they were reminiscent of the way his mother had stood over him, stance wide, her massive head low as she growled and Erwin was forced to explain his task. He no longer needed to even breathe, but still the guilt made him sigh heavily and place his face in his hands.

_Dead. I killed them._

A thump on the floor, followed by a tiny yelp snapped him back to himself and he uncovered his face in a rush as Eren changed from canine to human and began wailing. He’d fallen off the couch while Erwin wasn’t looking.

“Eren, shhhh.” Erwin scooped him into his arms and stood, hushing Eren and bouncing him. He hushed about bounced as best he could, but Eren kept crying. Erwin brought Eren’s head to his shoulder, keeping him close with a hand and still hushing him patting his back lightly, but he was at a loss for what to do. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Shhh. It’s my fault.”

He repeated the words like a mantra until Eren finally stopped crying. He knew, but ignored that he hadn’t been apologizing to Eren for letting him fall off the couch. There was no forgiveness to accompany his apologies.

~

_the day after the incident_

“Are you eating with us, Erwin?” Eren zoomed by with his plate of food as Erwin approached the table also carrying a plate. Petra ran after Eren chastising him about running with his food and Eren instinctively ignored her. He set his plate on the table and bounced back over to Erwin, who patted him on the head and sent him back to his seat.

“No, not eating. I don’t have much of an appetite for potatoes, as good as Gunter’s are said to be.” Erwin set the plate down in front of the unwelcomed guest with a polite smile. The kid, for all his lankiness, seemed to be trying to make himself as small as possible. Only the day before had his life been spared, and Erwin had carefully explained to him his own sleeping habits and how difficult it would be to sneak away in the night, should he try to leave on his own. Erwin rounded the table and sat across from him, next to Eren who had already started eating.

“So, Jean,” Erwin tested the name, pronouncing it properly. He couldn’t quite recall the last time he’d used his French, aside from when he’d lived in France around the time of its revolution, so it took him a moment to recall the words. He politely asked the boy about himself, pulling foreign grammar up from centuries of disuse.

“Uh.” Was the only reply.

“You don’t speak French, do you?” Erwin quirked an eyebrow at him. The boy was quick to shake his head.

“No, sir.”

“Well, what an unfitting name. I asked you about yourself. What do you do?”

“I’m eighteen, sir,” Jean replied quietly, staring at his plate to avoid eye contact, but keeping his hands in his lap. Erwin was almost frustrated with how afraid he was, even for a human. “I don’t really do anything. I’m in high school.”

“That’s something, no?” Erwin looked at Petra as if for confirmation, but she was busily chastising Eren for eating with his hands. He growled at her, the sound of it pathetic coming from his human throat, then changed his face and plunged into his food making as much a mess as possible. Erwin wanted to laugh at the terror on their houseguest’s face.

“Y-yeah.”

“Eat,” Erwin commanded as lightly as possible. It was one thing for him to be hospitable, but it was another to see his hospitality so blatantly refused, especially when he was trying to hold conversation. “Your kind needs to eat three times a day.”

The boy lifted his fork obediently and tried the food with timid, small bites, but found it to his liking and ate more openly when he did. Erwin could see him still trying to ignore the fiasco in front of him, with Petra pulling on Eren’s ear and trying to get him to be civil.

“Eren.” Erwin’s voice cut the air and Eren froze. “We have guests. Behave.”

Erwin’s eyes lingered on Eren only for a moment, cold and warning, and Eren changed back and grabbed a napkin to wipe his face and hands. He picked up his fork and scrunched his forehead, eating slowly. Petra grumbled about Eren never listening to her. Erwin’s eyes snapped back to Jean.

“Surely you have hobbies,” Erwin prompted. He wasn’t going to be ignored at his own table.

“I like, uh, running.”

Erwin smiled.

“Yes, that I figured. It’s a shame you aren’t faster,” he noted with a laugh that only made his conversational partner jump. “Anything else?”

“Uh, not really. I like physics. And painting.”

“What’s physics?” Eren jammed a mouthful of food into his mouth while Petra chastised him for talking with his mouth full.

“It’s like, uh, math and science together,” Jean explained. Erwin could see him watching Eren carefully, as if trying to pretend he hadn’t had the face of a wolf just minutes ago. He wanted to laugh, because since becoming a member of the Society, he hadn’t seen such awkwardness around what humans consider paranormal, but then he also felt a strange desire to shoo Eren away from the scrutiny.

To Jean, Eren was a monster, some kind of freak who might’ve actually cost him his life, but it didn’t make him less of a child. Erwin saw only the child where Jean saw only the monster. Eren was too innocent to know he was any different from a normal child. As physically mature as he was, eight or nine by human standards, Eren was still only five in actuality, and his only friends were werecreatures like himself. He was simply too young to know of any of the cruelty of the world around him. He’d been spending increasing amounts of time in his human form at Petra’s urging, which meant he was aging slower and learning faster, but he wasn’t nearly mature enough to be able to handle someone looking at him like a freak.

Erwin, for all his confusion around how to help Eren, had agreed to send him to a private school Erd had told him of that was ran by the werecoyote community, but Petra had insisted on trying to teach him social mores before she would allow him to go to school. Erwin had no qualms with it. He was Eren’s benefactor, not his father, and Petra knew Eren better than anyone else. Eren would, in time, be allowed to attend the school and start to learn the cruelty of the world around him, but for the time being, he was oblivious to it.

Their dinner had continued mostly quietly. Petra took over the conversation with Jean, between bouts of making Eren behave at the table, and Erwin lapsed into silence. He figured their houseguest knew nothing about what Petra actually was, since she hadn’t needed to change in the cellar after all, and she seemed the only person Jean would look at normally. Erwin thought darkly just how terrified the boy would be if he really knew. Dinner finished without event and Petra dragged Eren away for a bath.

“Jean,” Erwin’s voice cut the air. “Come take a walk with me.”

Jean made a noise in the back of his throat a bit like gurgling. It was clear he wasn’t comfortable being alone with Erwin, but that was the way the Duke prefered it. Jean followed obediently nonetheless.

The manor sat on a particularly large plot of land which allowed for the massive yard Eren had grown so bored of, but at a leisurely pace, Erwin could walk along its paths with his guest comfortably.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” He sighed, looking at the sun sinking down in the sky. Jean strode beside him, keeping a bit of distance between them. Erwin looked at him. “You should always appreciate natural phenomena, even if they’re as common as sunsets. You never know if you’re seeing them for the last time.”

Jean stiffened visibly and Erwin stifled a smirk.

“Though, you could feasibly count yours, based on the lunar cycle, of course. That’s where that myth comes from, did you know? That werewolves transform during full moons. Not purebreeds, though. Eren changes as he pleases, but mutts have no control over themselves. They are the reason werecreatures are even considered monsters.” Erwin nodded thoughtfully, watching his guest carefully.

“So… you think I’ll turn into one of these?” The boy seemed to have some trouble saying it, but Erwin had no trouble replying.

“It’s possible. Like I said, Eren is still very young, and he wasn’t fully canine when he bit you. There’s no way to tell for sure. May I?” Erwin pointed at Jean’s bandaged hand but reached for it anyway, chuckling quietly when the boy flinched. “Don’t worry. I’m not going to bite you. If I bit you, transformation would be surefire, and your death would be certain.”

Jean flinched visibly, trying to keep from pulling his hand away as Erwin undid the bandaging to look at the bite.

“So you really are…?”

“I’m a bit different from you, to say the least. But don’t worry. Like I said, I have no interest in biting you. You don’t smell like you taste good enough to risk losing my life. There’s no free reign in being powerful, think what you may. I still have rules to follow lest I suffer the consequences of disobeying them.”

Jean nodded sagely but said nothing.

“Hm. Well it’s healing well, I suppose. I’ve never seen a werecreature bite before, so I don’t know what to look for.” Erwin replaced the bandages and released Jean’s hand. He watched Jean for a moment before speaking again. “You look like you have a question.”

“I have a lot of questions, but I really just want to go home.”

“That’s not possible. It’s one thing for you to know what you do, and if you’re fine and I let you free, my Society will likely pay you to keep quiet, since that’s not uncommon, but don’t get greedy or you’ll have a tragic accident. But it’s another thing entirely if you turn out to be a mutt. Really, it’s not pleasant. I’d be doing you a favor by killing you. If you were allowed to run free you’d bite everything you could get your hands on a create a whole mess of mutts and leave me an infestation to take care of.”

Jean paled. Erwin was having a bit too much fun tormenting him, but he was still displeased with the boy whenever he thought of him looking at Eren like a monster.

“Is that why you have him?”

“Eren? He was more of an inheritance, but yes, essentially.”

“I take it you’re not his dad.” Jean kept his eyes down, digging his toes into the gravel underfoot.

“No,” Erwin laughed. “Just a benefactor. Petra isn’t his mother either, just his nanny. There was a small infestation of mutts in this area, and most unfortunately the source of it was never found. I have something of a jurisdiction over this area, and my Society ordered me to take care of the mess, though when I was finished, they asked an additional task of me. Eren’s parents were the only purebreeds in this area at the time, and close friends of mine. Somehow the infestation had started again, much closer to them this time, so I was ordered to eliminate them and the resulting mutts. In exchange for their cooperation, I promised to spare their son.”

“You…” The sudden shock on Jean’s face took Erwin by surprise. He’d been reconciling himself with the events that brought him Eren for years, but he’d never told anyone who didn’t have a full understanding of the Society. “You killed them?”

“The order came to eliminate the threat. I did what was necessary.” The words were so familiar to Erwin he could say them without thinking about it. He’d never said them aloud, but they were burned into his mind. Repetition. “I took care of the infestation first, of course. It would’ve been one thing if the infestation had only happened once, but for it to happen twice in the same area, and so close to them? You have to understand. They did.” Erwin cleared his throat. “The infestation never resurfaced.”

“So you…! Does he know?” Jean, for all his youth, was beginning to annoy Erwin with his immense passion and the man quietly hoped Eren would never get to be so obstinate at the same age.

“Eren knows he does not have parents. They disappeared.”

“Disappeared? Is that what you told him?” Jean roared and overstepped his boundaries, lunging forward out of habit (yelling was a familiar deal for him).

“Do not forget whose company you’re in,” Erwin warned cooly, catching the boy by the forehead with a hand. He held him at arm’s length for a moment. “Eren has been told that they boarded a ship when he was very young and were lost at sea. That’s all he needs to know for now, and no one--” Erwin gave Jean a harsh look before pushing him off his feet with the hand on his head “--will tell him otherwise until I decide he should know.”

Jean glared at him from the ground, partially afraid, but still enraged. Erwin offered him a hand up.

“Are we clear?”

“Crystal,” Jean spat.

“Good.” Erwin hoisted him to his feet and stood patiently while the boy brushed himself off. “That is everything you need to know, along with every subject you must avoid while you’re here. Oh! No, I almost forgot. Don’t discredit my staff as human. They’re not my kind, but they’re not yours either. We’ll leave it at that.”

Erwin left the boy standing there as he started back toward the manor, only allowing himself a little amusement in taking away his houseguest’s only comfort.

~

_five weeks after the acquisition_

“They told me I would find you out here.” Erwin leaned against a tree, casual and relaxed, but on his guard nonetheless. He had good reason to be. The monstrosity in front of him was nearly the size of a house, and no doubt packed a punch equal to its size.

Only a low growl answered him.

“No doubt you know what I am. I’m not here with the Society. Whether they’ve come to question you or not, I don’t even know, but I’m here for an entirely different reason.” He smiled politely and took a step forward, but it was premature. The smile disappeared from his face as he ducked to avoid the swipe of a massive paw.

“Don’t need your kind here,” it growled again, inhuman.

Were he not confident in himself, he might’ve even been afraid. But she was weak. Not eating, not sleeping, only hunting to kill, not showing her face anywhere near her community. She had no energy and no allies, not that he wanted to hurt her.

“I have some insight into your predicament. You know full well what I am, but do you know exactly who?” Erwin was smart enough not to step forward again, but still the bear stood on its back legs and roared.

“Doesn’t matter. Never helped us,” the voice boomed.

“The Society, perhaps, but they see themselves as mediators, not assistants. I’m not here for them, I’ve already told you that.” Erwin took a moment to breathe, a relaxed in and out. Both knew he didn’t need it, but it still demonstrated his good intentions. It was not a challenging action. “I’m here to offer you a job. I hope in my offering I don’t offend you, and know that I haven’t come here with a feeble attempt to replace what was lost--” the monster growled and dropped back to all fours, eyeing Erwin “--nor do I wish to make a surrogate of you. I simply see you as the best candidate.”

Erwin had more to say, but the monster moved faster that he would’ve thought possible in its state, pinning him to his tree by his neck. The grip wasn’t hard, and the paw holding him had been partially changed to allow for the dexterity of fingers over a full paw, but the message was clear. Still, he found himself surprised by what the beast said.

“What are you asking?” The voice was higher, more feminine and more human, and for a moment, Erwin was more concerned than before. In a less beastly state, rationality and strategy were possible, which made her more dangerous than before.

“You know of the Jaegers?” Erwin asked, simply. If he could keep her thinking rationally, she wouldn’t strike out blindly.

“The werewolves who were slaughtered a few weeks ago?” The hand tightened on his throat. “I know them.”

“Society’s orders,” Erwin coughed out. He did actually need the air to speak, even if not to breathe.

“What about them?” The monster’s voice grew deep again and Erwin began calculating a route of escape. The hand loosened enough for him to speak after he’d croaked uselessly trying to reply.

“They left behind a legacy. A son. He’s in desperate need of a nanny.”

“And you want me?” The voice was incredulous, leagues more human than before, the figure shrunk but still strangely beastly.

“His current care is inadequate, to say the least. You have the means and the motive by which to make an excellent caregiver.” Erwin did his best to smile again. She’d done well to hold him in place, and with as quickly as she moved for as weak as he was, he was sure he’d made the right choice. At her best, she’d be unstoppable.

“Who said I have motive?” She snapped, tightening her grip again.

“Right,” Erwin cleared his throat out of habit. “Back to who I am. Erwin Smith, Duke of the eastern seaboard and overseer of the preternatural here, as ordained by the Society. Whether or not that means anything to you, I offer money, power, and protection.”

“I know what the Duke does, and I know what that means. Did you offer the Jaegers your same protection?” She squeezed Erwin’s neck so hard he felt a joint pop. Were he human, he’d be long dead. Still, she hadn’t struck or bit him, so she was still in a listening mood. For the moment.

“I did not. Not to Grisha or Karla, at least. Their son is a different story. You must understand that I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Orders are orders, and if I hadn’t done it, someone else would’ve, then there would be someone to punish me for disobeying, and the child would’ve surely been killed. I am remorseful. They were my friends, but I did what I could for them. Anyone in my situation would’ve done the same.”

Erwin looked her in the eye for the first time, to convey his sincerity. Her eyes slowly changed from unintelligent and beastly to human and wise, though they were framed by dark shadows. He reached into the pack at his feet and handed the little woman a few items recovered from the house she’d abandoned in her community. Living with werecreatures had desensitized Erwin to nudity, but he knew the woman would feel more comfortable talking to him if she were clothed.

“You took him in?” She asked him when she was fully dressed.

“I made a promise.”

She became the first and only person to know of the promise then. She responded by winding back and punching him in the face with all her might, which, to her credit, was quite a bit. Erwin was knocked back into the tree behind him again and he fell to his knees, surprised and dazed, vision blurry.

“Then I’ll make sure you keep it. A favor, from one mother to an absent one.”

It took him a second to be able to see straight again, but when he looked up, he saw all of her strength, as battered and wild as she was from being in her bear form for weeks on end. He got back to his feet as smoothly as he could.

“Do we have a deal?” He asked, rubbing his nose.

“Let me see him.”

 

She was surprisingly calm for someone in her situation. Aside from Gunter driving them to the manor, Erwin had instructed his staff to remain out of sight until told otherwise, just to ensure she remained as comfortable as possible. She said nothing to Erwin in the car ride from her community to the manor. He wasn’t surprised in the least that she didn’t look back even for a second.

She’d sat simply, hands wrapped around the shoulder strap of her seatbelt, though with an easy grip as if she only wanted to hold it to give her hands something to do. Her face remained empty, plain and pretty as a china doll but for the shadows under her eyes. She’d pulled her hair back as best she could since Erwin hadn’t thought to bring her a brush for it. Doing so had exposed her neck and Erwin, who considered himself something of a connoisseur of necks, marveled at how small she was as a human for as massive as her changed form was.

Once inside, Erwin offered her dinner while he went to retrieve Eren and he was sure to take his time. She’d cleaned her plate by the time he returned.

He saw it in her face the moment he entered with Eren. The little thing had finally fallen asleep, in his human form for once, and Erwin had carefully wrapped him in a blanket before bringing him down. She tried to hide it when she remembered Erwin was there, but he’d seen it. She loved him, it happened in an instant and she hadn’t even held him yet. He didn’t waste and time handing Eren to her.

He let her be for a moment, taking up some distance and just watching quietly. She wasn’t hiding it with Eren in her arms. She tugged the blanket out of his face with a finger and rubbed the knuckle against his cheek. Erwin heard her let out a soft coo as she held him closer to herself. After several minutes she looked up, but didn’t return Eren to him. Erwin didn’t think she would.

“How old is he now?” She spoke softly for fear of waking him.

“Almost six weeks. He’s just started getting teeth in his other form.”

She nodded quietly, clearly used to how quickly werechildren aged. Eren was still far too large for a human baby of six weeks. Then she said something that surprised Erwin entirely.

“My Theo was about this size.” She paused. Erwin didn’t know how to react. He could see the tears welling in her eyes. “We were going to call him Teddy bear. It was the joke of the century.”

She sniffed loudly as the tears spilled over, clutching Eren with one arm and wiping at her face. Erwin had nothing to say. He realized later that she hadn’t been expecting him to say anything, but that it had been her roundabout way of telling him she was accepting the job. She never told him officially, but that was because Eren had woken up to her crying.

She gave a tiny ‘oh’ when she saw him, his eyes already something resembling their bright green, and sat herself on the couch with him. He’d wormed a little hand free of the blanket and placed it on her cheek and she hadn’t been able to help crying again.

“If it’s too much--”

She shook her head vigorously. Erwin knew she needed Eren now.

“Very well. I’ll start the paperwork for a contract.”

He would keep his promise after all.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get the verdict of Jean's condition and Eren gets an outlet.

_two days after the incident_

“Erwin Smith, what did you do?”

Erwin didn’t bother looking up from his papers, reading and scribbling furiously. He almost felt bad for whoever had to read his report up in the Society. The passing centuries had only made his handwriting worse, and he was writing quickly, to boot.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to clarify, Petra. I’m many things, but a mindreader is not one of them.”

“That poor boy. He keeps looking at me like I’m going to eat him or something.”

Erwin chuckled. He could hear Petra’s heart rate pickup at that. He was making her mad.

“Well are you? You very well could. If you’re asking permission, go ahead.”

“Erwin!” She approached his desk and smacked him on the shoulder. She was the only one who would ever dare even touch him, except Eren who was still too young to really know what his benefactor was. “You ass. What did you tell him?”

“A little bit of the truth. Nothing unnecessary. Would you rather he go on thinking you’re human? The regent alpha fe--”

“Yes, Erwin, I would. Titles be damned. He’s just a kid, and he’s scared. It wouldn’t kill you not to make it worse.”

“Well,” Erwin chuckled. “Even the Society isn’t completely sure about everything that kills us. For all I know it could be a swallow of milk. Why risk it?”

“You’re loathsome, you know that?” Petra crossed her arms.

“Maybe so.” Erwin tapped a stack of paper on his desk to straighten it and stood. “And I’m fine with humans thinking that about me. My kind needs to directly prey on them to live. We are loathsome. But yours--Eren’s--does not, is not loathsome. Remember that next time you see that the way he looks at us is the same.”

Erwin straightened his collar and brushed past Petra.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, the Society has finally caught word of our little incident and is requesting an audience with me. I’ll be back in three days. I trust you have better control over Eren than I do?” Erwin grinned.

“Wait, you’re leaving?” Petra looked at him dejectedly. But then, it wasn’t the first time he’d needed to leave since he obtained Eren. Petra could handle things by herself. Eren liked to give her a hard time about a lot of things, but he still listened to Petra more. He respected her. Erwin knew he was just the iron fist.

“Yes, just for a few days. Until I return, my subordinates may come and go to take care of business in my stead. You remember Hanji and Levi?” Erwin snagged his briefcase from its place against the wall.

“I try not to,” Petra grimaced. Her gaze hardened. “You’d better come back.”

Erwin only laughed.

“I know every rule and standard forwards and backwards. This isn’t something they’ll impose a purge for. The only concern is whether or not the boy turns. If so, Eren may change hands.”

“Over my dead body.” Petra spat.

“Yes, and they’ll happily arrange that. But keep in mind the loyalty of my subordinates. They might dabble in paperwork, but they’ll still be here to keep any prying eyes out. Like them or not, they’re trustworthy.”

Petra huffed a sigh that was something like relief, but her face remained painted with disdain. Erwin understood. Aside from himself, Petra trusted none of the Society members. Erwin didn’t blame her for that. As per their traditions and protocol, the Society had simply stood aside five years ago when Petra lost her mate and cubs. Her weariness had merit.

“I’ll be back, Petra.”

 

Jean was glad to be left alone in a room of his own. He’d left for his jog without his phone, and his computer was at home, so there wasn’t much to do, but the freakshow that called himself the master of the house had said he could use the library if he wanted, so if he got bored enough he’d have books to read. Still, he’d rather be at home. His hand rubbed over the bandages covering the opposite hand, wincing a little at the pain. If it weren’t for the bite wound there, he’d be home.

“It still hurts?”

The deep voice behind Jean terrified him. He hadn’t even heard the door open.

“Yeah,” he said hesitantly.

“Good. That means it hasn’t healed yet.” Jean’s face made the man clarify. “Rapid healing is a characteristic of werecreatures, purebreed or mutt.”

Jean huffed. He was pretty sure the most it had done was scab over, and even then he couldn’t move it much or it would start bleeding again. The little brat had really done a number on his hand.

The scowl on the boy’s face made a nerve jump in Erwin’s face.

“I’ll be gone for a few days. I trust that you’ll remain behaved. Don’t take this as an opportunity to try to sneak away in the night. I’ll have two of my subordinates here, same as me. Unfortunately, though, they’re not quite as forgiving as I am, so if you’re caught, I can’t help you.” Erwin turned but shot the boy a look over his shoulder. “And remember that _you’re_ the outsider here. If anyone should be getting disgusted looks, it’s you.”

Erwin left without another word.

As if it weren’t nightmarish enough already, Jean’s stay was made exponentially worse by the arrival of the promised subordinates. The first to arrive was cold and standoffish, amusingly short, though Jean would never say anything about it. He liked his head on his shoulders. The second was entirely too outgoing, a stark contrast from the first, though it was obvious there was much more to the outward friendliness, and Jean didn’t like it. The little freak, Eren, greeted them equally, bouncing around and talking incessantly. Jean couldn’t help but compare him to a dog.

He thought he’d be able to avoid them and hole up in his room like he’d done with the other freak in charge, but the task proved impossible. He didn’t bother learning either of their names. Both of them regarded him as if he were a piece of furniture, yet they wouldn’t leave him alone. The short one kept drafting him to clean things, muttering about how much of a slob the master of the house was, though Jean couldn’t find a spec of dirt. He wasn’t in any position to refuse the tasks, what with… whatever they were. Where the first forced him to clean things nonstop, the other was just terrifying. When they weren’t looking at him like some sort of test subject, they were talking constantly in excruciating detail about the inner workings of the human body. It made Jean sick to his stomach. The only people who didn’t terrify him completely or drive him up walls were the little dog-boy and his nanny.

Jean wasn’t surprised to find that the little kid acted almost exactly like a dog most of the time, but with more intent behind his mischief. At first, Jean figured the creepy blond guy was the only one Eren listened to, and for good reason, but a few more days watching Eren and he figured out Eren’s obedience was selective. Sometimes he listened to his nanny, sometimes to the weird subordinates Erwin had left in his stead, and sometimes to the other staff members milling about the manor, but only when he wanted to. The nanny later told Jean that Eren had slipped out and bit him under Erwin’s watch, so Eren didn’t even listen to him.

Jean found Eren to be a nuisance, most of the time, but as the days without Erwin passed, Jean spent more and more time with him if only to pass the time. The others, with the exception of Petra, who spent her time chasing after Eren anyway, generally left Jean alone when he was with Eren, and it was the most alone he could possibly get, so he took it. Eren was practically a dog half the time anyway, so it was almost like being alone. Eren was pretty shameless and paraded about the manor partially dressed most of the time so he could strip down and change at will, so Jean learned to ignore when Eren ran around completely naked. If anything, it was bothersome, but Petra told him she was just happy he didn’t tear his clothes, so there wasn’t anything to be done about it.

It seemed unreasonable how attached Eren was to him, and in a matter of days. By the time Erwin returned, Eren had taken to falling asleep at the foot of Jean’s bed, curled up in his wolf form. He’d snuck in one night during a storm and ended up making a habit out of it. Jean only humored him. He figured out Eren would play fetch until he passed out--something Petra only let him do once, but all-in-all, the relationship was rather one-sided. Jean just wanted to get back home, and he didn’t get why Eren was so attached to him.

“Why don’t you go sleep on Petra’s bed?” Jean asked, freeing the blankets from underneath where Eren was already curled up, nose in his tail. Eren cocked his head, changed forms and sat cross-legged.

“She snores.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, but she’s your kind, isn’t she? I don’t think Erwin wants you to have anything to do with humans.”

“That’s okay! You might not be a human for much longer!” Eren beamed and Jean tried to ignore Eren’s enthusiasm. It had been little over a week since Eren bit him, and the bite was deep, so it hadn’t healed much more than scabbing over.

“Still,” he steadied himself, securing enough blanket to be comfortable from underneath the now-naked Eren sitting on his bed. “Shouldn’t you be trying to make friends with your own kind?”

“I’m the only one.” Eren said indifferently. “Besides, you’re the only friend I want.”

“What about Petra? She’s not your kind? You don’t want to be friends with her?”

“Petra’s a grizzly. I change into a wolf and she’s a bear!” Eren threw his hands out wide to emphasize the size of Petra as a bear. “I’m probably the only wolf left. That’s what Levi says. Hanji said there’s more in German or something, but Levi doesn’t think so.”

“I think you mean Germany,” Jean corrected. Eren only looked at him, clearly not seeing a difference. Jean rolled his eyes. He’d never liked kids, and Eren was too stubborn to be any different, but maybe he could be persuaded that Jean wasn’t a good friend for him.

“Well, what about how old you are? Don’t you want friends your age?”

Eren looked up at the dark ceiling for a moment before looking back at Jean and shaking his head.

“Petra said I’m different from humans. I’m five. Human five-years are small and weak! I’m not!”

Jean looked taken aback. No one had said anything about Eren’s age. He’d assumed Eren was nine or ten, certainly much younger than him, but five?

“How are you only five years old?”

“Petra says we age faster in animal forms because humans live longer. So I’m five.”

Jean nodded slowly, content to leave the conversation there, and bid Eren goodnight. He had a mass of questions, but he figured they were better left unasked and unanswered. Eren slept almost exclusively in his animal form, and he went back and forth all day. If what he said was true, it was almost no wonder he was only five years old. Jean pulled the blankets over his shoulders and turned away. At his feet, Eren curled up, already tugging at the blankets.

For a moment, Jean looked over his shoulder at the ball of fur and felt sad. Eren’s only companions were all much older than him, and entirely too serious for enough of the kind of play kids his age needed. He didn’t even know where to place Eren for his age. He was big enough to be almost twice his age, but not quite mature enough. Eren existed in some sort of weird adult world in a kid’s body with an even younger mind. Just before he fell asleep, Jean found himself wishing Eren could have a normal life.

~

_a few weeks later_

 

Jean sat rather angrily with Eren and Petra and the freakish master of the manor on the back porch, watching the sun set. It might’ve been nice--getting a break from school hadn’t been such a bad thing after all, and he found he actually quite liked Eren and Petra--but for the chain around his neck. He sat on the edge of the porch with Eren next to him, their legs dangling over the edge. Eren was chattering nonstop about something he’d caught earlier in the yard of the manor. Jean was half-listening, nodding along, but he was more aware of the cold metal biting into the skin around his neck, the long chain trailing behind him, curled in the fist of Eren’s benefactor. Jean could feel his cold eyes on the back of his head.

It was the end of the lunar cycle, finally. The moment of truth. The bite on Jean’s arm had finally healed, leaving soft, pink scar tissue in its place, but there’d been no other indication of an outcome. Erwin had come and dragged him suddenly from his room, locked the metal collar around his neck and dragged him outside to wait. Eren had followed, Petra in tow, and the four of them sat waiting. With the exception of Eren, no one said a thing.

The sun disappeared into the horizon, leaving behind a trail of orange and pink in the clouds, then leaving the sky empty, blackening in its wake. In a few more minutes, the night would be lit by the full moon. Jean jumped when he felt Eren’s hands on his knee.

“Do you feel anything?” Eren looked up at him with eyes wide, shining.

“No.” Jean forced a smile. Eren turned around, keeping his hands on Jean’s knee.

“Hey, Erwin, if Jean turns into a wolf I’m gonna turn into one too, okay?”

“Alright, Eren.” Erwin’s hand tightened around the chain ever so slightly.

Jean held his breath as the moon came into view. He wasn’t nervous. He’d accepted his fate a long time ago, and he was sure after a month everyone he knew already thought he was dead anyway. He could feel his heartbeat, about as slow and lax as it always was, since he wasn’t nervous. Nothing felt different. Though, he also didn’t know what he was supposed to be feeling if he was turning into a werewolf or whatever.

Eren was watching him closely, inches from his face with a look of intense concentration. No one was afraid for him. He was still only five, but he had a lot more experience as a wolf, plus Petra behind him and Jean was sure the chain around his neck would pull him back before he could do anything to Eren. Eren was precious. Jean was an outsider. Jean ignored Eren and set a hand on his head. He heard the chain tighten again.

Nothing happened. The moon came into view and everyone but Jean tensed up, either anticipating something awful, or in Eren’s case, something great, but nothing happened. Eren slumped down in disappointment and everyone else relaxed. The soft click of Erwin’s shoes sounded as he came over to remove the chain around Jean’s neck. He undid the lock with a clink and let it fall to the floor along with the chain. With his hands free, Erwin scooped up Eren and passed him off to Petra.

“Bedtime, Eren,” he said cooly. Unsurprisingly, Eren squirmed against Petra’s hold.

“I’m not tired!”

“You have to go to bed now. It’s late.” Erwin spoke smoothly, placing a hand on Jean’s shoulder as he stood up. He made it clear Jean wasn’t going anywhere.

“Jean has to come with me!”

Erwin made an annoyed sound in the back of his throat, something like a sigh. He kept his grip on Jean’s shoulder, turning to face Eren in one smooth motion.

“Jean has to go home now.” Erwin pat Eren on the head and motioned for Petra to take him back inside. Eren’s face took on a look of surprise and disbelief. Maybe no one told him what would happen if Jean turned out to be fine, or maybe Eren had been banking on Jean transforming, but whatever the case, Eren clearly hated it. He thrashed against Petra’s arms.

“No! He can’t go home! Jean is my friend!”

For a second, Jean felt hesitant, conflicted. The word ‘home’ had been enough to give him hope that he would finally be free of the nightmare that had been his month living in the manor, afraid and unwelcome. But he felt strangely bad about himself leaving Eren, like it was somehow his responsibility to help Eren have a normal life. After all, it was Eren who had saved his life from Erwin in the first place.

But Erwin grit his teeth, his decision clearly made, and Petra tightened her grip on Eren, tugging him back toward the door to the manor. Eren strained more, changing himself and tearing his clothes. To keep him restrained, Petra’s arm’s changed too. That ended Jean’s confliction. He hadn’t seen anything of what Petra was, and it had been all to easy for him to just pretend she was human too, even if Eren traipsed about as a wolf half the time. Seeing her there, only her arms at that, as something clearly inhuman, Jean remembered himself. He didn’t belong among them. They weren’t human. He moved along with Erwin’s hand when it started to guide him down the porch stairs along the gravel path again.

He was going home.

~

_seven years after the acquisition_

 

For all his efforts, Erwin still had little idea as to whether or not everything he did for Eren was actually helpful to the boy. While he’d stopped aging quite so quickly after how much he’d developed in the first year of being in Erwin’s possession, Eren still looked to be nearly thirteen at only seven. Sending him to the school in the werecoyote clan had helped him mature by a long shot, but unlike most of his classmates, he still prefered to spend an immense amount of time in his animal form. He learned quickly and all of his school subjects came to him fairly easily, but it was difficult for him being in a community that encouraged its members to live more like humans than werecreatures. Since they spent their time almost exclusively in their human forms, Eren aged faster than any of his classmates and it became harder for him to relate to them. Erwin had thought being with other werecanines in a community would benefit Eren, but in the end he was always unsure what to do to help.  

Eren’s seemingly inborn aggression posed the biggest issue to resolve. His teachers found he listened well to instruction in the classroom because he had a strong determination to learn, but wouldn’t listen to any rule or conduct and frequently got into conflicts with the other students, to the point that the werecoyotes got brave enough to tell Erwin he would have to be disciplined or removed from the school. They’d gone out of the way as it was allowing someone outside of their community to go to school with them, if only out of respect for their canine kin, but he was enough of a hassle that they were willing to tell the Duke of the eastern seaboard ‘no’.

Erwin’s solution had been to simply give Eren an aggressive outlet he couldn’t dominate like he did the other students. After carefully explaining to Eren that his skills weren’t to be used against his classmates or friends, or really anyone who he didn’t wish to harm outright, Erwin called a favor of an old friend, the first werecreature he’d gotten acquainted with. The weredog, an almost anomaly, since werecanines were almost always wild canines, Mike Zacharias, came to serve as a combat instructor for Eren. Despite a form superior in agility to the bloodhound, Eren lacked the skills to take down Mike in either form. He became a challenge Eren was eager to overcome, so he listened well to Mike’s instruction. Eren’s behavior in school improved tremendously.

“Finally reaping your investment?”

Erwin jumped slightly, too focused on watching Eren’s lesson with Mike to have noticed someone creep up behind him. Then, it helped that they also didn’t have a pulse like the people Erwin was used to being around.

“Checking in on me, Levi?”

Levi shrugged.

“I heard the dog was in town. I should’ve known it was you who brought him here. You’ve almost got enough for a zoo now.”

Erwin gave a dry laugh and let Levi keep talking.

“It’s about time you did something with the mutt. How long has it been? Seven years? Of course, he wasn’t really old enough to do you any good until now. He looks like he could almost be a man now. Makes a good guard dog.”

Erwin hummed. “I thought you were supposed to be my guard dog.”

“Yes, well.” Levi gave a snort. “That was true until the Society decided they could trust me and started giving me tasks of my own. Besides, this one’s actually a dog. And he was given to you. That was the promise, wasn’t it?”

Erwin grit his teeth. He knew Levi had no ulterior motive being at the manor. If the Society wanted to spy on him, they’d send someone they had under their thumb, not Levi who was just barely under their jurisdiction. Aside from that, Levi just had a tendency to say things to make Erwin uneasy. Erwin regretted telling Levi of the promise in the first place.

“He was given to me to be under my protection.”

“But you still own him. And that means all of him.” From where he was behind Erwin, Levi walked around Erwin’s chair to his opposite side. “Since you’re educating him, I wonder how long it will be until he starts to get curious about the thing between his legs?” Levi smiled wryly. “Will you show him that or will you make Mike do that too?”

“That’s--”

“No, no, of course not. But remember. You own him. You might as well get some enjoyment out of your little pet. If you don’t want to, I could do it for you.”

Levi hopped out of Erwin’s reach and sat on the handrail of the porch from which Erwin was watching the lesson. Erwin looked away from the lesson and sighed deeply. He rose.

“If you miss me, just say so,” Erwin said with a grin.

Levi scowled.

“I’m sure you’ll get bored of getting nothing out of it eventually. But my offer stands. He’s growing into such a pretty creature. Anyway, if you change your mind, or if you even want my help, you know where to find me.”

Levi hopped off the banister and disappeared from sight.

Erwin turned back to the manor and went inside. Eren’s lesson went on uninterrupted. He knew Levi was right. It was Karla Jaeger’s beauty that had originally inspired Erwin’s friendship with the Jaegers, and then to see it so perfectly manifested in her son, Erwin couldn’t help but feel amoral. Levi was right completely. He owned Eren. Karla had given Eren to him fully knowing that Erwin would never fill a fatherly role. She’d just wanted her son to live, no matter what. Erwin wouldn’t dream of violating the boy, but Eren was no more than a pet. Thinking about it did not feel like violation.

He could reap his benefits in other ways. With his training, Eren would still make an excellent guard dog, and an ageless one at that. Once Eren was grown, he wouldn’t need quite so much of the staff he needed as a youth, and once he reached the age where he stopped aging, he could live in servitude of Erwin forever.

They’d already started explaining to Eren why and how he’d come to live with Erwin, and Eren had outgrown the lie of thinking his parents were off at sea. He knew they were dead, and he knew he owed his life to Erwin and that leaving him would mean being alienated and possibly dying. Eren knew he couldn’t live among humans.

If, being the last of his kind, at some point in the future the strict policies of the Society forbidding interbreeding of werecreatures and humans made Eren lonely, Erwin would offer an ease of the loneliness. Perhaps it would be sooner rather than later, but he prefered not to coerce Eren into it. Until then, if it ever happened, Erwin was content training Eren as a bodyguard. After all, his work still required a fair bit of risk.

Try as he might, Erwin couldn’t quite get Levi’s words out of his head. Eren’s growing beauty was enough temptation to rouse Erwin into calling for a glass so he could have something to eat. Even if he couldn’t satiate the strange temptations that had carried over into death, he could fill his stomach until they went away on their own. If anything was a curse of death, it was having to deal with lingering human inconveniences.

Erwin wasn’t concerned that Eren would find someone closer to his own age. In the end, the Society would never approve of a match that could result in hybrids, so Eren’s loneliness was inevitable, unless he proved to be disinterested in others. As it was, Eren hadn’t shown much interest in his peers. He had among them only one close friend, a timid werecoyote from an omega bloodline named Armin who was far too intelligent to be able to tolerate Eren’s bullheadedness in the long-term. Then, the only other friend Eren had ever had was the human, Jean, and Erwin had given him a warning stern enough to keep him away for the short duration of his human life.

Eren was his, and always would be.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably going to be the most boring chapter. the next scene didn't make sense to put in this chapter, so I'm ending it here because it's about to pick up quite a bit, hold onto your seats folks...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren comes of age, someone oversteps the Society's boundaries, and everyone learns what they think they should be fighting.

_ten years after the incident_

 

Erwin always hummed quietly to himself when something upset him. It was really more of a harrumph, but Eren had always thought of it as a hum, so that’s what he called it. Sometimes he wondered if Erwin did it because he thought no one could hear it; it was always in the back of his throat and low like a growl, but of course Eren didn’t have any trouble hearing it. He knew his hearing wasn’t quite on par with Erwin’s but it was still somehow better than everyone else’s, except Mike. Try as he might, Eren always felt like Mike had him beat in everything but youth and size (and even that was only in their canine forms). It almost wasn’t fair to compare them, seeing as they were different species, but Mike had taught him everything he knew, so Eren was forever trying to best his teacher.

It was Erwin’s hum upon receiving a letter in the mail that let Eren know something was up. Eren read a bit over Erwin’s shoulder, since he was sitting while Eren paced the room as per their usual setup. He’d snuck up behind Erwin, so for a moment, he doubted Erwin had seen him slip back into his human form because he could never quite get his wolf eyes to focus on text. He scowled at the fancy scrawl at the top of the page. The rest looked like it had been printed, but the writing at the top was unmistakably the antiquated title the Society used. How like them to send a letter. Eren didn’t know much about the Society, aside from the fact that they were a group of whatever Erwin was that essentially formed an underground government for everyone the humans didn’t know existed. They were ancient, so Eren guessed that was why they still sent letters.

He didn’t get very far before Erwin folded the letter and sighed heavily. Eren jumped back into his wolf form and continued pacing like he hadn’t been behind Erwin reading the letter. As big as he was, Eren still had to jump out of the way to avoid Erwin pushing his chair away from his desk with more force than necessary when he stood. Eren whipped his tail out of the way, hitting the light fixture on the ceiling as he did so, trying to avoid Erwin in the rage he was trying to contain. Eren was used to keeping his tail low, since he had a bad habit of accidentally knocking things over otherwise. He moved out of Erwin’s way until he had enough space and sat down expectantly, head cocked.

“From the Society,” Erwin grumbled, now crushing the letter in his hand. Eren nodded slowly. There wasn’t much he could communicate without changing form. “There’s been an outbreak of unapproved newbloods here that we’re just now getting word of. The letter’s from Hanji. They’re estimating about forty or fifty.” Erwin took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself. “And growing.”

Eren cocked his ears forward, dipping his head a little. Forty or fifty? Newbloods was the term used to describe humans recently turned into Erwin’s kind, where mutt indicated a human turned into a werecreature, and hybrid indicated a someone born half werecreature and half human, or to two werecreatures of different species. The latter three were never approved by the Society, Eren had learned early on, but humans could be turned into newbloods if a Society member went through a long process and got the change approved by the Society. Other than that, newbloods were too unpredictable to create many of.

“It looks like we’re being recruited as headhunters. Someone’s behind this.” Erwin set the crumpled letter on his desk and ran a hand over his face. Tired of being mute, Eren padded over to the corner of the study where he kept a pair of pants. He knew Erwin didn’t care, but he always kept his back to him whenever he changed.

“Headhunters?” Eren buttoned the buttons at the hips of his track pants. After ruining so many clothes in his youth, his old nanny, Petra, had eventually come up with the idea of him wearing track pants that buttoned up on each leg so he could change at will without tearing his clothes.

“Part of my duties as Duke,” Erwin answered. He was leaning against his desk with his arms crossed, phone in hand. “I can get Hanji and Levi to find the ones in their region, but from what the letter said, it seems like the majority of them are here.”

Eren rubbed his chin and was surprised to find a bit of stubble there. He’d been in his wolf form for a day and a half, so it’d been awhile since he shaved.

“Alright,” Eren conceded. He would do whatever his master required of him. “How do we hunt them?”

“Newbloods have a very distinct scent. You should be able to smell them at long distances. I’ll find you the first one, and then all you have to do is find scents similar to it. With any luck, we can find them all before too many more are made, or they kill too many humans.”

“So all we have to do is kill the newbloods?” Eren stretched a little, trying to loosen the muscles he never quite used in his wolf form. “Sounds easy enough.”

“Too easy,” Erwin confirmed. Eren only watched and waited. He knew his master well enough to know Erwin was already figuring there was more to the story than an unfortunate volume of newbloods.

“It’s not just them, is it?”

“No.” Erwin pushed himself off his desk. “Outbreaks like these happen every so often, and only once has it ever been the fault of a newblood.” Erwin plucked his jacket off the back of his chair and Eren crossed the room to hold it for him while Erwin put his arms through the sleeves. “And there aren’t any approved newbloods in my region.”

-

Eren had followed Erwin almost cautiously, at least as cautiously as he could, running in his wolf form to keep up with Erwin. Erwin stopped him short when a large warehouse on the seaboard came in sight. Without a word, Erwin reached up and untied the track pants around Eren’s neck, then held them out in front of Eren, focusing on the warehouse. Eren changed back and took the pants from Erwin’s hand, then slid them on. He hated how soft the soles of his human feet were, especially standing next to Erwin on the grassy hill, but it was clear he needed to be in his human form for some reason, or Erwin wouldn’t have made him change.

“Did you smell it?” Erwin asked, still looking at the warehouse.

“It’s bitter. Kinda like chlorine.”

Erwin nodded. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath and clenched his jaw. Eren stopped breathing for a second, knowing Erwin was listening and smelling the air. Eren hadn’t smelled anything peculiar, but then the newblood’s scent had made it difficult to smell anything else. He couldn’t hear anything. His sense of smell might’ve been better than Erwin’s but Erwin knew what to look for, and he could hear a lot better.

“There’s two humans in there,” Erwin informed, opening his eyes. “Follow my lead and wait for my signal.”

Eren nodded, gave Erwin a few steps head-start and followed after him. He found the door to the warehouse had been torn off as he entered after Erwin. Apparently the newblood wasn’t terribly fond of picking locks. The warehouse was eerily empty, and the light was so scant Eren curse his human eyes and focused long enough to change only his eyes so he could see. It was painful, since his wolf eyes wanted to be much bigger than Eren was allowing them to be, but he got a glimpse of two figures in the middle of the warehouse. Erwin stood off to the side, looked up, and pointed at the beams above.

Eren watched Erwin climb up to the beam without a sound before focusing on the figures in the middle of the room. He wondered what the newblood’s senses were like for it to have not noticed his new company. Eren pulled himself up onto a box, still concealed behind a larger one in front of it. He was still fighting with his wolf eyes, so it took him a second to see why the newblood hadn’t noticed them. There was indeed a third figure in the room, but one of the figures was on top of it, hunched over. It was feeding. The third was cowering against a wall, watching in horror.

Eren didn’t have to wait long for Erwin to interrupt the gruesome scene before him, dropping gracefully from one of the beams to land a short distance away from the newblood enough to startle it into looking up. It jolted back a bit before it smiled.

“You… you’re like me.” The voice sounded female. Its smile was smeared with blood.

“On the contrary,” Erwin countered. “I have much more self-control than that. And I would’ve noticed another person in my hunting grounds.”

Eren in the dark, Eren could see the newblood’s eyes widen.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know!” It pointed a shaky finger at the figure cowering against the wall. “You can have that one. I haven’t touched him yet.”

“Not interested.”

“I… sorry! I’ll even give you half of this one!” It wiped at its mouth with the back of its hand, placed both hands on the waist of its victim and pulled until the upper portion of the body came away from the lower with sickeningly wet sounds. The third figure watching shook, doubled over, and vomited. “Here!”

The newblood pushed the lower half across the floor to Erwin, leaving a slick wet mark behind it. If the victim wasn’t dead before, it certainly was now. Erwin sneered at the thing at his feet, then brought his eyes up to the newblood again.

“What a waste.” He sighed at the blood on the floor. “You know the best thing about being a newblood?” He chuckled. “Well, not best for you. Your senses haven’t developed yet. You can only smell werecreatures in their animal forms because they don’t smell like humans.”

Erwin closed the distance between himself and the newblood faster than the poor creature could process. He grabbed a handful of hair and tugged its head back.

“Unfortunately for you, Eren’s been here this whole time. Isn’t that right, Eren?”

With a start, Eren took that as his cue to leap over the box in front of him, changing forms as he did so. He heard the buttons of his track pants pop open before they fell behind him. He landed as smoothly as he could, head low, growling.

“P-please, I didn’t know.” The thing begged. It was still on its knees, head pulled back by Erwin. In its confusion and bloodlust, fighting back must’ve not occurred to it. Eren kept creeping closer. Of course he felt nothing for it. Erwin had told him it didn’t belong in this world and that it was their job to remove it. He was just following orders. It wasn’t human anymore.

“It’s not my decision. You aren’t supposed to exist. I’m just the executioner.” Erwin threw the newblood forward toward Eren. It stumbled over the corpse it’d torn apart, catching itself before it hit the ground face-first in a pool of blood. Eren could see it trembling. The smell was so overpowering he just wanted to get rid of it. “Well, not me. He is.”

Erwin jerked his chin and Eren lunged.

-

Jean coughed, steadying himself on his knees. His stomach lurched again, threatening to seize again, but it was already empty. He gagged and coughed at his burning throat, his eyes and nose running.

Thomas.

He wiped at his face. He hated himself for being so unreasonably scared for someone in a special forces unit. He was twenty-eight for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t be vomiting over losing his partner in the line of duty. But squinting up at the scene in front of him, he wasn’t sure it could be called duty anymore. The monster that had attacked Thomas was still crouched next to him, but the second thing that had dropped out of the sky was now behind it, holding its head back by the hair. It was talking too, but Jean’s head was spinning too much to make out what was being said. His stomach felt sick again.

Something else jumped out of the shadows and his heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t quite make out what it was in the darkness, but it was the size of a truck. He saw the flash of eyes and teeth and heard growling so low and deep he could feel it in his chest. The figure holding the thing that had eaten Thomas threw it forward and it landed in front of the massive beast that had leapt out of the shadows. There were more words, the thing lunged, and there was the crunch of bones breaking. Jean doubled over again, dry-heaving.

When he’d gotten his stomach under control, he collapsed in on himself and lay on his back. The night had started out as a nightmare and had only gotten worse. Above him, someone was talking. He couldn’t help but think the voice familiar.

“This one, what should we do with him?”

“We have to leave. It’s not our concern.”

“But he knows now.”

“A lot more people are going to know if we don’t make quick work of this.”

“…”

“Besides. Look at him. He’s not a problem. I doubt he even saw us. Let’s go, Eren. Can you smell any more?”

Eren?

Jean felt like he’d heard the name in a dream. It’d been years since he heard anyone say it out loud. But if his growing suspicion was right, that meant the voices really were familiar…  Jean’s head shook as he tried to lift it, slitting his eyes open. He could only see feet, two pairs, one bare and the other in a pair of really nice leather shoes. Between the two, there was a pile of dust.

“There’s one… east of here. Smells like it’s close if I can smell it like this.”

“Let’s go, then.”

“Okay, Erwin.”

Jean’s eyes shot open. It couldn’t be… He strained, trying to get his eyes to focus in the shallow light of the warehouse. His hand prodded around his belt, patting the gun and pepper spray Thomas had found to be ultimately useless against the thing that attacked him. When he found what he was looking for, Jean pushed himself onto his stomach as best he could, rocked up and pointed the flashlight in the direction of the voices.

Both faces turned to him immediately. His blood ran cold.

“Eren?”

Jean blinked several times, still trying to process what was in front of him. It was like he’d stumbled into an old memory, but with a strange new twist. He became alarmingly aware of his own breathing and heartbeat. He shook, coming to accept that what he was seeing in front of him. It had been more than a decade since he’d seen the little kid, but the person in the beam of his flashlight looked like they could almost be the same age. This Eren wasn’t a little kid anymore, but lean and muscled, in nothing but a pair of track pants.

“Hey…you’re--”

“We’re leaving, Eren. That’s an order.”

Jean cowered instinctively as the other figure approached him, kicked the flashlight out of his hand and started for the door. The force of the kick was enough to knock the flashlight into an empty crate and put out the light.

“Yes, master.”

Jean was still shaking when the backup he’d called for finally arrived.

~

_thirteen years after the acquisition_

 

Eren threw the tattered remains of his shirt on the floor as he stormed into the manor from the door leading to the back yard. He was lucky enough to have been wearing his track pants, so at least he’d been able to salvage those, but his shirt, underwear, shoes and socks were ruined. He should’ve known better than to go out for one of his lessons fully clothed, but he wasn’t expecting a sneak attack. He’d given Mike a broken arm for it, too, not that it made him feel any better, but it ended the lesson. It didn’t matter. Mike would be fine again in a week. Aside from that, it wasn’t like he hadn’t broken plenty of Eren’s bones.

“Bloodhound piece of shit,” he spat. He jumped as he failed another one of Mike’s lessons: always be aware of your surroundings.

“Not liking your teacher anymore?” Erwin’s voice surprised him from the armchair in the sitting room just inside the manor. Eren should’ve remembered that Erwin still liked to watch his lessons from time to time.

“I never liked him.” Eren crossed his arms, turning to face Erwin. He knew he was out of place complaining to his master, but he was still too angry to care.

“It was a good fight. You wouldn’t have won a fight like that last year.” Erwin traced the rim of his glass with a fingertip, talking as if he were disinterested in the lessons as a whole. Eren knew better. He knew why Erwin cared about the lessons, and he’d already started sleeping outside the door to Erwin’s study, as requested.

“It was dirty and uncalled for! An ambush? While I’m in my clothes? Petra got those for me yesterday!”

“With my money,” Erwin reminded him, setting down the glass. He hadn’t had so much as of a sip of it. Eren had seen it enough times to not be bothered by it. “I daresay you’ve outgrown having a nanny by now.”

“Wh--” Eren could feel all of his rage draining away. “What?”

“How old are you now, Eren?”

“Thirteen.” Eren crossed his arms defensively, trying to ignore the dread building in the back of his mind.

“Right. But since you’re still werecreature, and you spend quite a bit of time in your animal form. So how old would you say that makes you actually?”

“I don’t know.” He glared at the ground. He knew Erwin wasn’t going to that that for an answer. “Seventeen? Eighteen?”

“Which is plenty old enough that you don’t need a nanny anymore.”

“But--”

Erwin’s cold glare silenced him.

“I hired Petra to raise you because you weren’t of any use to me as a child. Now you’re useful and she’s not.” Erwin sat up slightly in his armchair, uncrossing his feet and setting both of them on the ground. Eren shook with anger. He wanted to yell at Erwin for even thinking about sending Petra away, but he knew he couldn’t. Erwin had never punished him for disobeying, but there was just something about the man that made Eren long to please him no matter what. He held his tongue.

“I know you’re still attached to her, but you must remember she has her own clan to attend to. I’m sure she’ll be happy visiting you on occasion. Would you like that?”

Eren balled his hands into fists, bit his lip and nodded. He’d been to the weregrizzly community before, and it was close and friendly. Once Erwin had made up his mind about something, there was no changing it, and Eren knew this, so it was all he could do to just agree with Erwin’s qualifications.

“You’re still angry.” Erwin mused.

“You’re taking my mother away from me.” Eren spat through clenched teeth.

“Petra is not your mother,” Erwin reminded him again. Eren had never so much as called Petra ‘mom,’ but the feeling of losing her was the same.

“She’s the only mother I’ve ever had.”

“And now it’s time for you to fulfil your purpose and for her to go back to hers.” Erwin laced his fingers together and set them under his chin, his elbows on either armrest. “Don’t be angry. It’s the way things are. Yes?”

“Yes.” Eren shook, defeated. He shut his eyes and sighed. He had a purpose, after all.

“Come here.”

Eren opened his eyes and gave Erwin a questioning look. He was already reasonably close to Erwin. He padded over without objection and stood directly in front of Erwin, beyond caring what Erwin had in store.

“Sit.”

Eren moved to sit on the floor at Erwin’s feet, but Erwin stopped him halfway.

“Not on the floor. You’re not an animal.”

“Sir?” Eren stopped trying to sit and straightened up. Though it was the ‘sitting room,’ there was only one chair in the room, and Erwin was already sitting on it. Aside from that, Eren was an animal half of the time.

Erwin opened his arms, gestured to his lap and held Eren’s gaze for a moment. Eren’s face slowly twisted in confusion. He’d sat on Erwin’s lap before, but that was years ago, and he’d been a child then. Erwin was watching him with a gentle expression, calm and waiting. So as to not disappoint his master, Eren sat.

“You’re old enough to make your own decisions now. I trust your judgement. I’m trusting you with my life, you know that?”

Quietly, Eren nodded.

Erwin’s hand shot out and knocked his glass off the side table and for a second, Eren thought he’d done it by accident, but he made no move to indicate that was the case. The hand that had knocked the glass over stayed where it was for a moment, as if it regretted breaking the glass. Erwin’s other hand sat on Eren’s bare hip, lightly, without moving. As much as he’d grown, Eren was still significantly smaller than his master, and Erwin seemed to encompass all of him.

“Your glass…” Eren stared after it on the ground, the shards of it scattered through the growing puddle. “Should I get you a new one?”

“You’re a bodyguard, not a servant.” Both of Erwin’s hands came up to rest on Eren’s shoulders. “You’ve always had an interesting smell. It’s not like prey, and it’s not like a regular werecreature, or even a hybrid, but somehow it’s still so sweet.”

Eren steeled himself. He knew he belonged to Erwin, and had an inherent desire to please him he couldn’t explain. Even though Erwin had never been like a father to him, Eren knew his admiration and respect went deeper than something familial. He scarcely winced when Erwin sunk his teeth into the space between Eren’s neck and shoulder.

It hurt. It wasn’t much more than a stinging pain though, and once his teeth had made the initial cut, Erwin withdrew them and ran his tongue over the wound. He clutched Eren to him like he couldn’t get close enough and Eren was surprised to find that Erwin’s body was warm, that the arms around him gave a strange sense of security even though he was supposed to be the one keeping Erwin safe. It felt… nice. Like Erwin was accepting him as something beyond a body to sacrifice if need be. He’d never seen Erwin feed on anything directly, and it made Eren feel special. Even the tongue probing his wound felt nice. It’d close in a few minutes anyway. Erwin wasn’t trying to hurt him. He was just acting on nature.

When the bite closed, Erwin pulled his lips away without reopening the wound. The suction of his mouth cleaned the area as he pulled off softly, like drawing back from a kiss. Eren shivered a little, involuntarily. Erwin’s arms let go of him and Eren took it as permission to stand. His heart was pounding. He knew Erwin could hear it, and maybe that accounted for the strange look on Erwin’s face, euphoric, but reserved, confused.

“Thank you.” Erwin stood too, putting himself face-to-face with Eren, who staggered back in response.

Eren only nodded and Erwin brushed past him. When Erwin was gone, he touched the spot on his neck where Erwin had bitten him, running his fingers over the smooth scar tissue already there. Maybe it was the blood loss, but when Eren remembered how to walk again, he walked away dizzy.

~

_after the warehouse_

 

It took thirty minutes in the ambulance before Jean stopped hyperventilating. After he realized that the thing that had attacked Thomas had turned into ashes, leaving behind nothing but a bloody mess, Jean had panicked. The backup he’d called for when Thomas went down searched the rest of the warehouse but found nothing. Jean was certain no one was going to believe him when he said what happened, that the world was just going to think him crazy because there was no way anything like that had happened. But Thomas’s corpse was still there, in pieces, now partially concealed by a pile of ash. When he’d stopped panicking, the chief approached him with an expression grim enough to almost set him in a panic again.

“Kirschstein.”

Jean only looked up slowly. The visage of his slender chief, Nile Dok, came as no surprise to him. The chief waved the paramedics away, leaving them alone in the middle of the chaos. Jean watched a big yellow bag being wheeled away on a cart. Thomas.

“No one’s told you this yet because we usually wait until after the first mission, but they usually don’t go this badly. Wagner must’ve panicked.” The chief put a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “Listen, son. There are things in this world that can’t be explained, shouldn’t exist here. What you saw was one of those.”

Jean nodded solemnly. This was something like a debriefing, but it didn’t feel like anything that should be happening. He’d been on the force since he’d found himself lost after high school, feeling talentless and but too exhausted to go to college for anything. It’d been a chance encounter with Nile in a coffee shop that had originally inspired him to join the force. Jean’s dad was almost never home, so he’d come to see Nile as a father figure.

“But you already knew they existed, didn’t you?”

It took a second for Jean’s voice to come out, and when it did it was soft and weak.

“Sir?”

“Your arm. That’s not a normal scar.” The chief picked up the arm Eren had bitten all those years ago and ran a probing thumb over the scar.

“I’m normal, I--”

“I know you’re normal, Kirschstein. But you’ve had some abnormal experiences. That’s why you were recruited for the special forces. Ten years ago, your case crossed my desk. Boy goes missing on a jog, no cellphone, no keys, nobody saw anything, nothing. He’s gone for about a month--after about three days, we usually figure kidnapping victims are dead.”

Jean nodded. He knew that already.

“Then he shows up outside of his home in the middle of the night all fine and dandy like nothing ever happened, not a scratch on him, except for that little scar. Claims he doesn’t remember what happened to him. Sound suspicious to you?”

Jean nodded again, slowly.

“I’m not expecting you to tell me anything, but I didn’t find you in that coffee shop on accident. And now we show up to you half-conscious with a dead partner and a terminated target. That’s something I’ll need an explanation for.”

“I… can’t say.” Jean rubbed his temple. He’d thought about telling people about his kidnapping over the last ten years, always figuring Erwin’s threat to be rather empty--how would he ever know if Jean told someone? But then, he was otherworldly, and Jean had no way of knowing whether or not Erwin was spying on him. With a decade passed, Erwin seemed like a distant nightmare, but seeing him again in the warehouse had reminded Jean that he was still close at hand. Saying anything was out of the question.

“Alright,” Nile conceded. “If that’s the case, how about I speculate and you tell me whether or not I’m right?”

Jean nodded. His head still hurt. He felt like he was eighteen again, facing an unfamiliar world, but sick and terrified.

“First. You didn’t terminate that target.”

Jean shook his head. The light had been so bad, he still wasn’t sure what exactly had happened. Even in his other form, Eren had grown tremendously, beyond the size of a normal wolf into something massive, and whatever that thing had been was what killed the thing in the warehouse. Jean had seen the flash of teeth and heard the thing scream, but everything else was speculation.

“I thought so. Alright, next. That bite on your arm is from a thing like what you saw in the warehouse.”

Jean shook his head again. Eren was nothing like that.

“Okay. Then it’s from something similar. Something that can’t be called normal.”

A nod.

“And that whatever bit you somehow showed up in the warehouse and terminated the target.”

Jean looked up at his chief at that. He was amazed that Nile was able to draw that conclusion so easily. Slowly, he met Nile’s eye and nodded.

“Hm. So it bit you, but you’re still normal, and now it comes to your defense, is that right?”

There wasn’t a yes or no answer to that. Jean didn’t know.

“I… don’t think so.” He straightened up when Nile tensed. “I mean, yes, I’m normal. But I don’t think he came there because he was defending me.”

Nile laced his fingers together under his chin. For a moment, Jean wondered whether he should be writing some kind of statement or something, but then there was also a rumor that circulated the force that Nile had a photographic memory.

“So he’s an enemy?”

“No, I wouldn’t say that.”

“He bit you, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, but--”

“Then he’s an enemy.”

“It’s not like that, sir, he was just a child.”

“But if he wasn’t defending you and he bit you, then he has to be an enemy no? Why else would he bite you? Why would he kill that target?”

“I don’t…” The words died off even as Jean said them. “I don’t know.”

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he had a hunch as to what was going on. He’d still been in the haze of seeing Thomas ripped apart in front of him and felt shaky and stiff, the taste of bile still in the back of his throat.

In truth, he didn’t know anything about Eren, aside from the little he’d gleaned from staying with him for a month, but it was inconsequential. When he’d left, Eren had been a little boy, but seeing him again, they could be the same age, which was why Jean had been so hesitant to even accept that thing as Eren. And as to Erwin, he knew next to nothing. Erwin was, for lack of a better word, a vampire, and though he’d given Jean a brief explanation, he had no idea what that meant. From what he could tell, the target they’d been assigned to eliminate was also a vampire, and yet Erwin had ordered Eren to kill it. It was more than Jean wanted to think about.

He realized the chief was still staring at him expectantly, probably thinking his bout of silence meant that he’d been trying to come up with an answer, so he looked up and shook his head.

“I’d like to go home now, sir.”

-

Six. They’d found and killed six.

Each time, Eren found himself revolted by their taste. When he broke their skin, there was something like blood to fill the wound, but it was thicker, and so sour it stung his tongue. When they died, they left only ashes. Erwin looked on each forlorn pile without remorse. Eren looked at them with disgust, trying to get their taste out of his mouth. It only infuriated him, made him want to kill them faster, with less biting, and he’d fallen into a sort of efficiency with the sixth kill. It didn’t stop the taste though.

He’d also gotten more careless, but Erwin had seen him killing with more ease and stopped telling them why they were being killed after the fourth one, letting Eren do all the work without prelude. With his carelessness and without Erwin’s intimidation factor (if that was the only thing he contributed), the sixth one had broken Eren’s collarbone, but only just before he killed it. Erwin was quick to set the bone, though, and he’d assured Eren that they wouldn’t need to do anymore hunting for the night, since the rising sun would ward them off.

It had subsided to a dull ache by the time they arrived back at the manor, after an embarrassing trip home, with Erwin carrying Eren since he couldn’t run with his broken collarbone. Despite his insisting that he’d walk on his own, Erwin had told him it would be too slow and wouldn’t let him object after that. When he’d set Eren down outside the manor, Erwin had expressed his disappointment in the injury, and instantly Eren felt ashamed for being careless.

“Hm. This is my favorite shoulder.”

They were light words, but effective. It was true, though. Where Eren’s skin only ever showed the lightest traces of scars, there was the thick ridge of one just where his neck met his shoulder from all the times Erwin had bitten it. Eren saw it as something akin to grooming; in the coyote community, grooming was a way of bonding, and elders often groomed the youth as a sign of dominance, and to be groomed showed respect. He couldn’t deny that there was a different element to it, though, since grooming never hurt and he’d never felt quite so happy to be close to the elders.

“Oh well.”

When they were in Erwin’s study again, Eren drowsy from staying awake the entire night, Erwin pulled him onto his lap and bit into his other shoulder, carefully sparing the one he was most fond of. Eren sat obediently in his lap, trying to ignore the curious thrill of Erwin’s mouth on his skin, or the way his fingertips pressed in lightly, but with purpose.

When Erwin let him go, he dipped his head and retreated to the couch in the corner beneath the bookshelves scaling the walls, his silent goodnight. He slept in his human form for the first time in ages, so as to spare his collarbone. Before he drifted off, he realized he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Erwin drink anything from a glass. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> recall that 'the acquisition' refers to when Erwin first got Eren (age 0) and that 'the incident' refers to when Eren attacked Jean in the park (age 5), so Eren is '15' for most of the chapter, but he's more like 24.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets some time to himself, Jean recovers slowly, and Erwin begins to see a long battle unfolding.

_1509-Outside of London_

 

The burning seemed to consume his entire being, from the inside-out. Looking at the dark shapes of the earth around him, he wondered if it was penance for his sins in life, the burning he felt. Without a death, he was sure he’d have to pay for his sins in one way or another. If he couldn’t go to hell it seemed hell had decided to manifest itself in him. They’d promised him that death was no longer a concern. What he’d agreed to, he could no longer tell. The burning in his body showed no signs of ever subsiding, the promised ‘blissful eternity’ seeming a horrid lie.

“You’re the greatest military tactician the world has ever seen! With you leading forces throughout the centuries, wars will be inconsequential. We find you to be a great asset to the world, surely worthy of being preserved for the coming centuries.”

Their words had been confusing at first, and still were for the most part. He hadn’t known anything about their existence beyond what he’d heard from clergymen swearing the beasts of hell to roam the streets, just to fill the pews on Sundays. When he learned it was true, he felt partially compelled to doubt them, but then was surprised by his own sturdiness. He hadn’t been afraid. Only curious, though it was not an honest curiosity; he didn’t want to know about them for the sake of knowing, but for what their motivations were. His questioning of their morals only seemed to solidify their decision to make him one of their own.

“And why would a society of non-humans want to change the course of wars between humans? Clearly you won’t be involved unless you want to be.”

Their answer had been, of course, that it was a benefit to all living creatures (if they could be classified as living) to determine the outcome of wars, especially when mankind was capable of painting the landscapes of the earth with blood.

In the end, it had been his own fear of death that had made his decision for him. Once he’d started coughing up his own blood, it seemed a sign that his body had already rejected the idea of living as a human, and that his choice was to succumb to the illness he’d seen kill his sister and her children, or live as something undying and yet unliving.

But as to the burning, the pain of having his lungs feel full of lead seemed far more appealing. Perhaps death would’ve been sweeter. When they brought him the first one, he had no time to struggle with the remnants of his humanity. Later, he’d hate himself for it, for his lack of hesitancy in bringing someone to face the thing he’d given his soul to avoid, but his thirst came with no remorse. He was only glad to have quenched the burning, at least temporarily.

“How do you fair, commander Smyth?”

Each time someone new was sent to check on them, he was struck by how quiet they were. From what he could tell, he was in some sort of root cellar, cold and dark, the earth around him just solid enough to keep him from trying to escape. But everything suddenly had a scent, made a sound. He could hear the heartbeat of mice running across the earth in the field above him, the sounds of things shifting in the dirt, no matter how small. It was jarring to be interrupted by beings with no smell that scarcely ever made a sound, no heartbeat to be heard. Even the darkness of the cellar grew on him. When someone came for him, they never brought a light with them, and as he came to his senses, Erwin came to see them with ease.

“It burns.”

That was his answer every time. Sometimes he could already hear the heartbeat of whatever they’d brought for him outside the cellar, before he could smell it or see it. Their patience seemed infinite. Each time, they waited for him to finish before they dragged the remains away.

“It’ll ease with time.”

And then they’d give him whatever was next. He was thinking of them as things before he ever thought of them as people. When his mind had overcome his hunger enough to remember what they really were, he refused to go back to thinking of them that way to keep his sanity.

He lost his concept of time. There was eating, and there was not eating, all the time he had to spend listening to the earth and feeling the burn inside his body.

They preserved him perfectly. When he emerged from the cellar, the burn had started subsiding for long periods of time after eating. They welcomed him, and he marveled at the limitless potential of his changed body. Only the sunlight seemed to be able to hurt him, a dull stinging on his skin where it touched, but they assured him that too would be gone with time. Fire no longer burned him and knives no longer cut him. It did not delight him. He saw the pallor of his skin and tore a tree from the ground as easily as he might’ve picked a flower. He saw only a monster.

 

~

_morning, after the warehouse_

 

Erwin saw that Eren was slow to wake. Most nights he worked straight through, and over the hundreds of years he’d gone without noticing night or day, he’d come to get a sense for them again. He had an idea of when Eren usually woke, almost always curled around his desk, or outside the door to his study. When he wasn’t up and about around the time Erwin expected him to be, Erwin spared a long glance toward the couch where Eren had fallen asleep. The sensation of pain was so unfamiliar to Erwin that he couldn’t help but touch his hand to the part of his chest that ached at the sight of Eren’s sleeping face. He let Eren rest for another hour.

When Eren continued to sleep, Erwin eventually swallowed the pang in his chest and woke Eren with a few soft shakes. Erwin stood upright, aloof with a hand behind his back, face blank. He chalked it up to guilt, opting to ignore the shock of Eren’s strange green eyes opening, flashing gold, then back to green as he woke. For Erwin it seemed there was no alleviating the feeling in his chest, something akin to pain, but the longer it subsisted, the less it truly hurt.

“Sorry! Did I oversleep?” Eren pushed himself back and upright with his feet as leverage on the cushions of the couch. He cursed involuntarily as he moved the arm corresponding to the collarbone he’d broken earlier.

Erwin hummed in the back of his throat and was surprised to see Eren’s face fall a little.

“It’s fine. It’ll be fine by tonight,” Eren insisted, getting to his feet and holding the bicep of the arm he’d moved on accident. He stood nearly as straight as Erwin, eyes burning.

“Have Erd make sure it’s set properly. I’m giving you the day off. I expect you back by tomorrow night ready to work.” Erwin maintained his rigidity as he stepped aside and gave Eren a clear path to the door.

“Really, it’s fine. It’s just a little sore.” Eren grit his teeth as he moved his arm a little to demonstrate, but Erwin still caught his wince, however miniscule.

“Go. I’ll see you tomorrow. Rest.”

Eren stood another moment, fingers digging into the meat of his shoulder to try to ease the pain. He set his jaw, somewhat determined not to be sent away over something he didn’t consider to be important.

“Won’t you need me to hunt them down tonight?”

Erwin smiled and set a hand on Eren’s head. He regretted the action, since it tweaked the pain in his chest again, but he spoke calmly anyway.

“You make it easier to find them, yes, but they’re no match for me. I daresay I could take all fifty of them at once without a problem. A few centuries will do that for you, you’ll see. Rest now. I’ll be fine on my own for one night. Aside from that, I’ve called Levi and Hanji here to help discuss a plan of action. There have been some… strange happenings on the eastern seaboard, to say the least.” He withdrew his hand and made for his desk without another word.

Conflict continued to hold Eren in place, but Erwin had been adamant in his orders. That gave him the rest of the day, a night, and the next day to himself. Knowing he wouldn’t get much rest anywhere, he passed the bedroom he all but never used in favor of sleeping in Erwin’s study (at his request) and made his way downstairs, where Erd praised Erwin’s first-aid and insisted that Eren keep wearing the sling Erwin had fashioned for him out of his jacket. That left Eren with nearly thirty-six hours and nothing to do with them.

Though he technically wasn’t even legal driving age and didn’t have a license, Gunter had at least taught Eren how to drive, and being unable to change form without disrupting his bone alignment, Eren knew it’d take too long to get where he wanted to be. He took the car without a second thought. It was strange to him, suddenly having time to himself. Since Petra had been deemed superfluous, Eren had changed his priorities from himself to Erwin. Every waking moment of his life had belonged to Erwin since. He’d made up his mind to go visit the last person who’d made him the center of their life.

“Eren!”

Eren recognized the voice as one of the cubs he’d spent time with whenever Petra had brought him to the grizzly community as a kid. Eren speculated that he’d always been older than the kid, but since grizzlies were impractically large in their animal forms, they spent almost all of their time as humans so Eren seemed more than a decade older than his old playmate.

“Woah! You got big!”

Eren just barely managed to redirect the hug tackle into something he could keep his balance with to spare his arm.

“Hey, kiddo.” Eren rubbed the top of the cub’s head, trying to pry himself free of the hug. “Is Petra home, do you know?”

“Yup! Boss is helping setup for Mina’s wedding. I’ll take you!” The kid grabbed at Eren’s hand and started dragging him along the dirt path up to the cabins where most of the grizzly community was concentrated. Since they prefered to remain isolated from the humans and liked having access to the forest, the residence buildings at the bottom of the mountain made up for the only place immediately accessible by car, so Eren had parked there. Most of the grizzlies knew him and since Petra was still the regent alpha female, though there was a new formal alpha pair, Eren was still welcome in the community. He’d just had the luck of running into someone who already knew where Petra was, given her odd jobs around the community.

She looked older, more tired, but brighter than he remembered. She’d aged less than he had, though. Bidding his old playmate goodbye, Eren wondered briefly if he might’ve had a similar, carefree life, were he not bound to Erwin. Petra noticed him quickly, even though he stood off to the side watching his friend run off to join some other kids around the same age.

“Hey, fluffball. What brings you here?” Petra greeted him with a one-armed hug, mindful of the one in its makeshift sling.

“I got hurt yesterday. Can’t do Erwin any good with a broken collarbone, so he gave me the day off. Thought I’d come see you.” Eren smiled ear-to-ear while Petra fussed around him, circling.

“What the hell were you doing that you broke your collarbone? That’ll never heal right.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Erwin set it and Erd said he did a pretty good job.”

Petra only clicked her tongue and started dragging Eren away from where all the wedding setup was in progress. He followed her all the way to her house, small and densely decorated. It was way too small for more than two people, and Petra’s presence alone seemed to fill the space. Eren supposed having a small house made her feel less lonely living by herself. He knew the one she’d lived in before she’d become his nanny still sat empty farther up the mountain.

“You have to be more careful, Eren. You’ll heal fast, but you’re not invincible. You still haven’t even told me what you did! What’s Erwin gotten himself into now…” Petra spoke too quickly for Eren to have any time to answer her, her hands working at getting Eren’s arm out of the makeshift sling and into an actual sling.

“Uh. We were hunting down newbloods, actually. The Society sent him a letter telling him he had to take care of an infestation of sorts. I got careless and one of them got the better of me.”

Eren thought Petra would scold him for fighting so absentmindedly, but she just finished adjusting the sling, tossed Erwin’s jacket onto a chair and stood in front of Eren looking very serious.

“Newbloods?” She asked in a surprisingly quiet voice.

“Mhm. Fifty or so. They’re not hard to find though, and they’re even easier to kill so we’ll probably have them by the end of the week.” Eren shrugged. He paused when he saw the expression on Petra’s face. “What is it?”

“Newbloods are… a really bad sign.” Petra shook her head. She had one hand on Eren’s good shoulder. She opened her mouth as if to say more, but shut it, squeezed her grip on Eren’s shoulder and grit her teeth.

Eren watched her, suddenly skeptical.

“What do you mean? We’ll just take care of them and it’ll be fine.” He wanted to sound hopeful. He wanted to be right.

“Maybe. But listen, Eren. These monsters always… come from somewhere. They’re more monsters than us in the sense of the word, even worse than Erwin. They prey on anything vaguely human indiscriminately. If they don’t kill what they attack, they only spread like wildfire. We’re safe in our animal forms because we smell terrible to them then, and mostly in our human forms because they can’t smell us very well, but most times all they need to do is hear a heartbeat and see a human shape and they attack. They’re horrible, and no rule-following member of the Society is going to make one by accident. Do you see?” There was a sense of urgency in her tone, her eyes shining as she tried to get her point across to Eren.

“Erwin already said this probably wasn’t an accident, but I don’t see why it’s so bad. We’ll just… get rid of them, right?”

Petra shook her head.

“It’s not going to be that easy. Whoever started this probably has some bigger plans in mind. Even if you kill all of them, it’s more than likely they’ll just kill more humans and make more newbloods.”

Eren shifted uncomfortably, moving just enough to wrench his shoulder out of Petra’s grip. He didn’t want to give thought to the idea of whoever was behind the newbloods simply making more of them. Erwin would take care of that. Eren had to have confidence in Erwin because if he didn’t, it meant he’d have to think about what it meant to have so many dangerous killers wandering the streets at night and why anyone would want that. That wasn’t his place. His place was simply doing whatever Erwin told him to do. For once, he was content being nothing more than a guard dog.

“Erwin will take care of that. I’ll do whatever he asks of me and he’ll take care of the rest,” Eren replied simply, feeling a pang of guilt for the cold shoulder he’d suddenly given his old nanny. “I think I’ll come back later. I wanted to see if I could catch Armin on his lunch break.”

He brushed past Petra to collect the jacket she’d thrown over her shoulder after deeming it a poor sling. Ever forgiving, Petra only sighed a little and changed the subject. She knew she couldn’t keep Eren from leaving if he really wanted to, but after not seeing him for so long, she had a feeling he’d only made leaving his excuse for ignoring the question she’d posed in his mind.

“Are you really taking that with you?” She pointed at the fabric bundled up in the crook of Eren’s good arm.

“Yes? Why wouldn’t I? It’s Erwin’s jacket.”

“Well, I mean,” Petra took it from Eren’s arm lightly, folded it, and set it back on his forearm. “It’s just a jacket. He probably doesn’t care about it much if he was willing to make it into a sling. I can guarantee you he has plenty more where this came from.”

“I should still give it back to him,” Eren replied simply.

“Eren, have you ever considered that you don’t have to do everything for Erwin? I appreciate that you came to see me in your free time, but it seems to me like you don’t even know what to do unless Erwin is ordering you around. You don’t have to think about him in everything you do. You’re his bodyguard, but you still have a life of your own.” She touched Eren’s cheek lightly, affectionately, and for a moment Eren felt a wave of nostalgia.

“I’m just doing this because I think I should. I’m grateful that he would do something like this, so I want to give it back to him.”

“That’s just it, though. Why do you feel like you have to give it back? It’s just a jacket… I’m worried you’ve lost your individuality.”

“It’s my choice. My individuality is fine. He may own me, but my choices are still my own,” Eren said, almost defensively.

Petra hummed, a tinge of concern in her tone. She was silent for a moment.

“Yes. He owns you. No one’s forgotten that. I just don’t want you to forget who you are.”

Eren looked away from Petra, clutching the jacket to himself subconsciously.

“I haven’t. But I also have to remember my purpose, and for that I’ll do anything he asks.”

“Alright. But promise me that if it comes to it, and you know without a doubt your decision is better than his that you’ll make the right choice.” Her tone was sharp enough to draw and hold Eren’s gaze again.

“Petra--”

“No buts.”

Eren hesitated another moment. He couldn’t imagine a scenario where Erwin’s judgement faltered. He knew Erwin’s past as a military strategist, and had faith in the centuries backing each of the man’s decisions. But he also knew, for as smart as Erwin was, Petra was equally stubborn and he’d never hear the end of it if he didn’t appease her.

“Alright. I promise. If it comes down to it, I’ll disobey him, but only in everyone’s best interest.”

Petra made a slightly dissatisfied noise in the back of her throat before throwing her arms around Eren and hugging him. She put it out of her mind how tall he’d gotten, how Eren, so like her own son, had aged himself up far beyond what he should be just to be useful to Erwin. She didn’t want to think about the little child she’d nursed sacrificing a childhood to fulfil a purpose, to be useful.

Similarly, Eren wasn’t letting himself think back on all the times Petra’s arms had brought him comfort, how much he’d missed them in the years since she’d left. He had a purpose. That was all. Missing Petra was irrelevant at the end of the day; he had no other desires than to serve and protect Erwin to the best of his abilities. It had never crossed his mind as to why he felt like that, it just happened. He’d always strived to please Erwin, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for that purpose.

 

~

_four years after the acquisition_

 

Eren sat forlornly by the window, watching the rain fall heavily from the dark skies, painting streaks across the glass. He sighed deeply, audibly, sparing a look over his shoulder in hopes of a reaction. Petra had gone back to the grizzly community to assist in some emergency medical care for a member who’d been shot at by a hunter who’d ventured into parts of the forest the grizzlies owned where hunting was illegal. The rain had trapped Eren inside with Erwin watching over him, reading nonchalantly. He sighed again, louder, still trying to elicit a response. There was only the sound of pages turning to answer him.

“I wanna go outside,” Eren whined in surrender.

Erwin hummed lightly, looking up from his book. Eren was sitting on the ground looking up at him, too anxious to bother tucking away his ears. Seeing he had Erwin’s attention, Eren let out a very canine and exaggerated whine. Erwin licked a fingertip and turned the page, reapplying his attention to the book.

“It’s raining. You’ll get sick. Or make a mess.” Erwin spoke softly, eyes drifting across the page. “Why don’t you play with Aruro or Gunter?”

“Aruro always runs from me!” Eren waved his hands around. Erwin couldn’t help but smile at the thought of Eren chasing around Aruro in either form--cat or human. “Gunter’s no fun. He won’t change indoors ‘cause he says he’s too big, but I don’t think horses are that big, do you?”

Eren’s bright eyes peeped up at Erwin just over the top of his book. He’d gotten up and started wandering the room, rambling about the other werecreatures until he’d stopped just in front of Erwin. The cold blue of Erwin’s eyes held him in place for a minute, his little mouth hanging open for a fracture of a second until he sealed it with a smile.

“What’s this say?” Eren pointed at the title of the book. Looking six or seven, but being only four in actuality, reading was a skill he’d only barely mastered. Try as he might, though, he couldn’t get the letters on the front of the book to make any sounds he could recognize as words.

“It’s in German,” Erwin replied simply, turning another page and looking away from Eren’s piercing gaze.

“What’s German?” Eren’s hands came over the top of the book, tugging it down slightly.

“It’s a different language. People in different places use different words to make sentences. German is spoken in Germany.”

“Different words?” Eren pulled the book down harder without meaning to.

“Yes…” Erwin paused a moment, considering how to explain the concept, then settled for reading a sentence from the page he was on. The look on Eren’s face was excellent. “Did you understand that?”

Eren shook his head.

“That was German.”

“So your book is German? And you can read it? Will you read it for me?” Eren had managed to press the book flat to Erwin’s knees.

“I’m afraid it’s terribly boring. It’s an old war strategy book. I doubt you’ll ever be commanding armies, so it won’t be the least bit amusing.” Erwin pried the book out from under Eren’s fingers and propped it up again.

“So tell me a story!”

“A story?”

“A German story!--but not in German. It sounds funny and I don’t get it.”

Erwin watched Eren for a second, seeming to buzz with a natural, implacable childish energy before sighing and setting his book aside. He pulled Eren into his lap.

“Do you know what I am, Eren?”

Eren nodded confidently.

“You’re Erwin.”

“No, no. You’re a werewolf. Erd is a werecoyote and Gunter is a werestallion. We’re not humans because humans age and die naturally, but we don’t die unless something kills us. Do you know what I am?” Erwin reiterated.

“A were-Erwin?”

That stirred a laugh out of Erwin.

“No. I don’t change into anything like you do. But I don’t need to eat or sleep or breathe. All I need to sustain myself is blood.”

“Oh. Um. Petra said those were called something. Umpires?” Eren looked pleased with his answer.

“Close. Most people would call us vampires, not umpires. The Society doesn’t like that, though, so they just call themselves members of the Society. Different cultures have different names for vampires, with different features and stories. There’s a form of vampire in German folklore called the _nachzeher_ which was said to suck the life out of bodies. Some said they drink blood, some said they merely ate the dead bodies of humans whose soul was already gone, but this is still a very old myth. If you trace every great society over the last several centuries, you always find stories of vampires.

“We don’t have any official history, but it would seem that vampires have always existed alongside humans. Vampirism has been associated with tuberculosis, which has been around for thousands of years, dating back to the ancient egyptians. It was said that family members of people who’d died of consumption--tuberculosis--were haunted by the corpses returning for blood. In reality, it was just highly contagious, but the legends still persist.” Erwin let his sentence draw to a close, apparently satisfied with it. It took him a moment to notice the confusion on Eren’s face.

“What’s tubercu… tuber…?”

“Tuberculosis. Consumption. It’s an illness humans get. It’s treatable now, but several years ago it was very deadly.” Unconsciously, Erwin balled his fists. “I almost died from it before I became a vampire. It killed my sister and her children.”

“So…” Eren’s eyes rolled up to the ceiling, deep in thought. “You used to be a human?”

“Yes. Once, very long ago.”

 

~

_the day after the warehouse, Philadelphia police station_

 

Jean tried not to start when he felt a hand land on his shoulder, but he jolted away from it anyway. He felt the involuntary surge of adrenaline in his blood, heart pounding. There was the dull ache in his ribs from hitting his desk when he jumped, and he knew he shouldn’t still be so jittery, especially at work.

“Oh. It’s you.” Jean couldn’t help voicing his relief at the familiar set of big brown eyes and accompanying messy ponytail.

“What are you still jumpy for? Drama queen. I just wanted to ask if you were gonna join us for lunch.” Sasha jerked a thumb at the small mass of people behind her. Jean eyed them wearily. They’d gone out to eat as a group multiple times over, but all of that time, they’d known and Jean hadn’t. Looking at them again, some smiling, some mildly impatient, Jean felt everything was different. He took a moment to wonder if it’d all been a lie to spare his feelings. Whether that was true or not, looking at them, he wasn’t sure they were the same people anymore. He certainly wasn’t.

“I’m not hungry.”

Sasha frowned, sighed, and looked back at the crowd behind her, then waved them off. When they had gone, she sat herself on Jean’s desk, chuckling lightly at how he avoided her eye contact.

“Let’s talk,” she insisted, nudging him with her foot. He pulled his arm away and deliberately pointed his face at the screen as if busying himself with work. Sasha nudged him harder, hopping off the desk to tug on his arm when he continued to ignore her. “We’re going out to eat whether you like it or not.”

There was no saying no to Sasha.

 

“Alright, so tell me what happened.” Sasha didn’t even make it sound like a suggestion as she shoved a loaded nacho in her mouth. Jean watched her eat for a second, with lavish and without hesitation as she always ate. If it was possible for eating to be an artistic hobby, Sasha made it so.

“You read the report,” he said flatly, poking a fork at the plate they were supposedly sharing.

“Yeah.” Sasha stuck a finger in her mouth, licked it clean and pulled it out with a pop. “Just about everyone did.We haven’t gotten a case this big in a while. But the report isn’t gonna tell me anything.”

Jean shrugged, eyes still pinned on the nachos.

“You know why they don’t tell you the real goal of the taskforce before your first field outing?”

Jean shook his head.

“Ideally, you go with a vet who can take out the target no problem and you get to see the strength of our taskforce and still feel the fear of learning just how horrible these things really are. So afterwards, you know these things exist and they’re terrifying, but that we can do something about them. And if you’re too afraid, you can leave, but most officers, once they’ve learned these things crawl around in the dark, want to eliminate them and they stay.” Sasha shrugged and ate another nacho. “But I guess Thomas got a little overconfident. Looking back at his records, he had more experience in the field than most people who’d been on the taskforce as long as he had, but all of his kills were only assists, and half of them ended with him just chasing the targets into sunlight and taking them out there.”

Sasha broke a particularly large chip in half before eating it and Jean lost the little appetite he’d gathered since sitting down to eat.

“But you already knew they existed, didn’t you?” She said around a mouthful of the nacho she’d broken in half. Jean looked up suspiciously.

“I thought the chief was the only one who knew about that…” Jean watched her shrug and smile mischievously.

“They had me in the records at first until I kicked everybody’s ass at the aptitude tests. Nile swore up and down that I wasn’t in the records because I was a woman, but I don’t believe it. He feels bad about it still so he tends to look the other way when I use my old records access to look up… less commonly available files.”

Jean said nothing, frowning at the cooling plate in front of him.

“But what’s most interesting is that you came back with nothing but a scar--no mental stress, no malnutrition, no sleep deprivation, nothing. Did you know they monitored you? A scar like that could only be one thing so they kept an eye on you, but nothing happened. The whole thing is written off as an almost pleasant experience.” Sasha knit her fingers together under her chin and propped her elbows on the table, giving Jean a goading gaze.

“It wasn’t bad,” he admitted. “But I really don’t like talking about it. I’m not supposed to.”

Sasha hummed discontentedly, quirking an eyebrow at Jean.

“Alright. Fine. But what happened in the warehouse? I know you didn’t kill that target; you were practically catatonic when backup arrived.”

“I…” Jean shook his head. “I don’t know. I don’t remember.”

“Funny, you said the exact same thing when you were interviewed about your kidnapping,” she snapped flatly.

“Well, I appreciate your concern for my well-being,” Jean spat in reply, getting annoyed. “But really, you’re too kind.” He pushed himself back from the table, scooting the chair across the floor.

“Sit down, Jean. You know I’m just trying to help you adjust here. I don’t know if anyone’s told you, but aside from you, I’m the only one who’s ever seen their partner ripped apart before their eyes.”

Jean stood, stunned, mood killed, and slowly sat back down.

“The west coast is a lot less controlled than this one. They transferred me here after I started showing symptoms of PTSD. I picked myself up again about a year later, thanks to Connie.” She held the most serious gaze Jean had ever seen her wear. He was compelled to keep listening. “So if you have information that could keep this coast from turning into that bloodbath, I suggest you do something other than keep it to yourself. Otherwise it might end up being too late.”

“Sasha, I’m--”

“Don’t you dare apologize. You should know more than anyone else that I don’t want sympathy. If you want to make it up to me for being an ass, tell me what really happened so you and I can stay anomalies.”

Her gaze was unwavering, slowly melting back into something Jean was used to seeing, far less serious and more relaxed. Jean hadn’t even been particularly close to Thomas, despite being partnered with him for a few months. In those months, they’d only gone on routine patrols and Jean had forgotten there was even supposed to be a difference between the taskforce he was assigned to and being a regular cop, so getting a job in the field had been exciting. Then he’d seen Thomas torn to pieces and that was more than enough to remind him what it was that had scared him into silence all those years ago. And yet, Eren and Erwin had been his saviors. The monsters he was most afraid of had shown up and saved him, and then spared his life yet again.

“Let’s go somewhere else,” he said quietly, dropping his fork on the plate of nachos. He looked up just fast enough to catch the surprise, then delight, then poor attempt to cover both that crossed Sasha’s face.

 

There had been no feeling of relief in telling Sasha everything, from the warehouse all the way back to his stay with Eren and Erwin. Sasha hadn’t had much to say about the matter, except expressing her surprise at a monster killing one of its own kind, and then even using another monster to do so. Jean hadn’t gotten any sense of getting something off of his chest, no breath of fresh air afterward. It seemed there was no use in bandaging old scars. To add to it, Jean was almost completely unsurprised to flick on the lights in his dark apartment to find a familiar, ageless blond sitting casually in his living room.

Jean had jumped, but only out of the initial shock of seeing another being in his home. When he’d realized who it was, his surprise evaporated.

“I take it I’m not hard to find,” he said flatly, watching a smile curl onto the other man’s face.

“Not in the least.” Erwin stood to his full height and Jean couldn’t help but feel intimidated by the disparity between their heights and the widths of their shoulders. “Although I admit I’ve been keeping tabs on you. I never thought I’d have to deal directly with that taskforce. I’ve been keeping them off the trails of myself and the communities in this coast for some time now. I was tickled when I learned that you’d joined them.”

Jean grunted, threw his jacket on his kitchen counter before rounding it and going to the fridge for a beer.

“Don’t suppose you want one?” Jean joked, offering another in Erwin’s direction. He waved it away with an amused expression. Jean put it back, twisted the top off the one in his hand and took a swig. “Lemme guess. You’re here to kill me because I know too much?” He was smart enough not to admit that he’d broken his promise to stay silent by telling Sasha, just in case Erwin didn’t already know about it. “Drain my body and leave me as another victim of these random attacks?”

“Hardly,” Erwin scoffed, offended. “You wouldn’t be worth the trouble I’d get from my superiors. There’s a reason the newblood didn’t eat you first last night. You don’t smell appealing in the least. Too bland.”

“Good to know,” Jean hummed into his beer.

“Moreover, I’m here to issue you and your taskforce something of a warning. While you may have had success in killing these creatures in the past--if only because they’re careless, empty-headed, and practically powerless--they’re likely not the only abnormalities bound to show face on this coast. If you value your lives, you’ll let me and my associates take care of the infestation.”

Jean leaned against the counter. He was surprised to see himself face-to-face with Erwin and completely unafraid. The little interaction he’d had with Erwin had always sparked a primal fear in his gut, but seeing him in his apartment, Jean wasn’t afraid.

“What do you mean they won’t be the only ones? What the hell’s going on?”

“You don’t need to know more than the bare minimum. Just know that there are a lot of those newbloods in this area for some reason, and that there’s likely something worse behind it. Given how strict my superiors are on even the accidental creation of these creatures, no one’s stupid enough to make the same mistake twice. It’d be better for you and yours to keep your noses out of this. There’s no reason to involve more innocent lives.”

“Yeah?” Jean snapped, somewhat irked by Erwin’s haughtiness. “What about Eren, then? The kid’s what, fifteen? And you treat him like some kind of hunting hound? What’s he got to do with this.”

“That’s none of your concern.” Erwin stepped toward Jean and Jean felt a sudden and inexplicable fear, like the entire atmosphere of the room had just changed. “I own Eren. He has sworn his life to me and it’s mine to do with as I please.” Erwin retreated slightly, straightened the lapel of his suit jacket and the room seemed to relax again. “Meddle as you please, but be warned about your lives.”

“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll keep that in mind.” Jean tried to sound sarcastic, but his tone came out shakier than he meant it to.

“So be it. I gave you my warning. Stay out of my way.” Erwin padded over to the open window Jean assumed to be the way he’d gotten in, despite the fact that he lived on the sixth floor. “Now if you don’t mind, I have work to do.”

He had a foot out the window, but Jean managed to make him falter.

“Hey, you could leave him out of this, you know. He’s still just a kid.”

Erwin looked up with a mysterious smile, the chilling blue of his eyes making Jean’s blood run cold.

“I couldn’t if I tried. I have a feeling all of this is _about_ Eren.”

He was gone from the window before Jean had a chance to reply.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna say thank you for all of the kudos/comments! Recently I've gotten some comments that were just absolutely amazing and I want you to know I appreciate it so much. <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The threads begin to come undone.
> 
> * * *

Eren was still sore when he woke up the next morning, confused temporarily to find himself somewhere other than Erwin’s study. When he’d gotten a sense of his surroundings, he found the likely source of his confusion; he’d fallen asleep on Erwin’s jacket for lack of a pillow. After getting cornered by Petra insisting he did nothing for himself, Eren had gone to visit Armin and they’d fallen asleep playing video games. Eren wasn’t surprised to see that Armin had gotten up long before him and left the other half of the Armin’s futon bed empty.

He found him in the kitchen, poking at something in a pan with a spatula. Armin’s grandfather was already asleep in the armchair in the living room, the television on a channel showing old Westerns.

“I was wondering when you’d get up.” Armin greeted him without looking up from the pan, pushing its contents along with the spatula and provoking a satisfactory sizzle.

Eren grunted a little, massaging the meat of his sore shoulder as the scent of food assaulted his senses. It banished Erwin’s lingering scent and brought him back to earth. He yawned once, stretched his good arm and then brought his hand down on Armin’s head, making him flinch a little.

“Need any help?” He asked, even though he knew Armin wouldn’t let him. For all his lessons, cooking had never been one of them.

Armin shook his head, then tucked his hair back behind his ear. It was at a length where it wouldn’t stay behind his ear and wasn’t long enough to be pulled back so it was constantly in his face. It made him look even more slender to have it hiding the natural roundness of his face, and it struck Eren how much older he’d look in comparison. Armin hated his coyote form because he prefered the clarity of thought only available to him as a human, so he spent nearly all of his time as a human and looked his true age. Even though he and Eren were born the same year, Armin still looked almost like a child. As a result, he was smaller and weaker than their classmates had been. They’d become friends because they complimented one another. Eren had prevented Armin from getting picked on and Armin had saved Eren’s grades until Erwin had decided his education was sufficient and pulled him out of school.

“What are you going to do today?” Armin took the pan out of the heat and set it aside to cool.

Eren stretched himself out on a chair, and lifted the elbow of his injured arm, testing it. He let out a long ‘uh’ while looking at the ceiling before sitting up and fixing his eyes on Armin.

“Wanna fight?” His eyes gleamed and he made sure to flash them gold for a fraction of a second.

Armin grimaced. He said nothing, went back to his pan, pouring its contents onto a pair of plates. He set one in front of Eren as he joined him at the table.

“Your collarbone’s broken. You can’t fight right now.” He grabbed a book and cracked it open as he sat down.

“Aw, c’mon. You’re just scared you’ll lose again.”

“Well, I will. I’m not going to pretend I won’t. You’re bigger than me and you’ve had training.” He flicked a page. “But really, you’ll hurt yourself again. Honestly, I don’t think you should have to work tonight. I’ve been studying werecreature healing in relation to how quickly humans heal and two days is not nearly enough for you to be putting stress on it again. I know he’s your boss, but maybe--”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re smart and you like medicine and shit. I’m fine.” Eren brushed him off easily and stuck a forkful of scrambled eggs in his mouth, but was surprised to see Armin looking at him with intent concern. “What?” Eren mumbled through his food.

“Is this a sore spot for you? Erwin--”

“I told you I’m fine.”

Armin bristled and straightened up.

“You interrupted me again. Clearly this is bothering you. If you don’t think you can work tonight--”

“I’m fine!” Eren insisted, interrupting for a third time. Angrily, Armin kept talking over him.

“If you don’t think you can work tonight then tell him. You shouldn’t have to if you don’t want to.” Armin forced his voice over Eren’s repeated chorus of ‘I’m fine’s. “Eren.”

When Eren ignored him, continuously and childishly trying to talk as loud as he could to drown out Armin’s words, Armin slapped a hand over his mouth.

“Would you shut up? You’re gonna wake grandpa.”

Eren licked Armin’s palm just to see him flinch in disgust but stopped talking.

“I know you work for him, but you really need to think about some things,” Armin continued in a softer voice. “He doesn’t even pay you, for one.”

“He doesn’t need to. I get everything I need and if I wanna buy something, he gives me money.” Eren pulled out the smart phone he’d insisted on having, despite rarely ever wearing pants with pockets. “See?”

“Oh really? And what are you going to use that for? I’m your only friend. There’s not much point in having a phone if you only have one contact.”

“That’s not true! I have…” Eren pulled up the list. “Two, three, four, five, six. Six!”

“Eren,” Armin crossed his arms to emphasize his point.

“Doesn’t matter. Point is, I get whatever I ask for.” Eren said obstinately.

“That is not the point. The point is that you’re being overworked and you don’t have a problem with it.”

Eren made a face and poked at his eggs with a fork. He didn’t want to have the same discussion again that he’d had with Petra the day before. It was starting to annoy him. It was why he’d left Petra in the first place.

“Why?”

Eren looked up only out of surprise in hearing a question Petra hadn’t thought to ask him. He should’ve expected Armin to question his motives, but it still caught him by surprise. For a second, he wasn’t even sure if he had an answer to the question.

“Why… don’t I have a problem with it?” Eren echoed, trying to make sense of the question. Armin nodded back. “I guess I just… want to.”

“You want to?”

Eren looked away, put more eggs in his mouth and chewed slowly. He really didn’t have an answer to Armin’s question. He’d never thought about why he did any of the things he did for Erwin. His entire life it’d simply seemed like the right thing to do, so he’d done it. Sure, there had been things he hadn’t wanted to do--training with Mike, for one, then being cut off from Petra, etc.--but he’d done them. There was just some inexplicable force that had compelled him to do everything Erwin asked. It was as if his moral compass simply pointed in the direction of Erwin’s decisions. Or maybe, he just always made the best decisions so Eren never questioned them.

“Yeah,” he said after some time. “I want to.”

Armin gave him a sideways look for a moment before sighing and folding his hands in front of himself. He mumbled something Eren didn’t catch but for the word ‘hopeless’ and smiled lightly.

“He’s been running your life since the beginning and yet you never question him. I’m not saying that’s bad, I just want you to be weary. So much of your thought process has been shaped to be what he wants it to be. That’s not such a terrible thing; he’s a very smart, admirable man. But you should be sure to have a bit of mind for yourself, do you understand?”

“I guess?” Eren was still processing what Armin had just said, realizing it was heading towards what Petra had told him earlier. “Think for myself if I have to, right?”

“You’re always thinking for yourself, Eren. You’re so bullheaded it’s unbelievable. But your decisions aren’t always your own. In fact, I’d say they’re rarely yours, but I don’t think that means you do them thoughtlessly. You’re smart enough to know what you’re doing and decide whether or not to do it. The fact that you choose to just means that you agree with Erwin’s decisions. However, as old and wise as he may be, eventually he’s going to want you to do something you don’t agree with. So then, make the decision you think is best.”

“You sound just like Petra yesterday. Except she seems to think I don’t have a brain in my head.”

“Well she might just be right about that,” Armin laughed lightly until Eren silenced him with a golden-eyed glare. “But really. I think you’ve just found your niche. You’ve always had this innate desire to protect and do the noble thing. For someone from the Society, Erwin is a really good person. I can understand your gratitude there, at least. Sure, he made an appeal for your life, but he’s also the best hands you could’ve ended up in.”

“What do you mean he made an appeal for my life?” Eren’s eyebrows came together. He’d been told that he probably would’ve died if Erwin hadn’t taken him in, but Eren had always assumed that was just because he wouldn’t have been able to take care of himself, not because his life had been in danger.

“Well,” the corners of Armin’s mouth twitched almost imperceptibly. His eyes settled on Eren’s face and he continued unfazed. “After your parents died, the Society was worried you might be a threat if you weren’t raised properly and they thought it’d be easier to kill you than to try to move you to somewhere you could be raised by your own kind. Erwin convinced them that wouldn’t be necessary because he was willing to make sure you didn’t become anything like that. I don’t suppose it matters. It’s the same in the end, isn’t it?” Armin finished with a little nod.

“Yeah, I guess.” Eren shrugged it off, the thought of his life being in danger forgotten. He finished his breakfast without another word and pushed back away from the table, chair scraping along the floor. “Thanks for breakfast. I should probably head back and see if I can get my shoulder a little looser.”

Armin looked as if he had more to say, but if he did, he swallowed it and nodded. In the end, Eren’s health was Eren’s to deal with and his alone.

Eren was sure to grab Erwin’s jacket from Armin’s room before he left.

 

~

a year before the acquisition

 

Erwin’s knocks were short and polite, barely audible to human ears, but perfectly loud to the owners of the house he was visiting. The door flew open without hesitancy. He could feel her energy radiating in waves, even before the door was fully open and she had swept him into a hug like they’d known one another forever.

“I’m so glad you came!”

He was slow to bring his arms up in response--not because he disliked her, but simply because he wasn’t used to such warm welcomes. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged anyone, either, and her incredible heat had taken him off-guard. Her head only came up to his chest and she felt tiny and delicate in his arms, but had undeniable strength to her as well. She pulled away and the brightness of her eyes stunned him. Her face was so young, actually young and not frozen in youth like his kind. He hadn’t expected her to be young enough to still age.

“I know you don’t eat, but I hope you’ll join us for dinner. I made arrangements for someone to bring over a glass of something you might like, just in case.” She spoke with a soft accent to her words, though still very clearly.

Erwin nodded, following her as she tugged him along by the hand. So she really was from the European communities. None of the western communities knew it was courteous to offer Society members something to drink when they visited. None of them ever even invited Society members to visit--they were all too mistrusting of them--but it was common practice overseas.

“So where are you from?” Erwin asked politely, though he was genuinely curious as well.

“Originally? Turkey. But I moved to Germany as a little girl because my pack was uprooted. I grew up there and met Grisha a few years later. My family was ecstatic when he made the proposal. Less so when he said he’d be taking me here.” She shrugged, coming to a stop in the dining room. She gestured to a chair for Erwin to sit in.

He sat graciously and nodded his thanks when someone came around with the glass she’d promised. He had to admit, the invitation was strange to him as it was. In Europe, he hadn’t held a position high enough to grant him more than a respectful nod from werecreatures, and in the eastern seaboard they all seemed like they expected Erwin to tear them apart with his teeth just for the fun of it. Then, he didn’t ‘eat’ in the traditional sense of the word, so to be invited for a dinner was something he’d never imagined would’ve happened to him again. Yet there he sat, across from a beautiful young woman who seemed all too happy to have him as a guest.

An emerging second host provided a stark contrast to the first. Erwin hadn’t any trouble hearing him approach; both the man’s footsteps and pulse had caught his ear, but there was nothing to announce the gloom he brought with him. He sat down next to his mate without a word, a stern and stoic expression occupying his face.

“You must be Grisha.” Erwin extended a hand across the table in hopes of keeping the amicable atmosphere Karla had set. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“It’s no matter. It was her doing.” He took the hand only after Karla nudged him and gave it a brisk shake before withdrawing it.

Erwin sat back, only slightly dissatisfied, but he understood. He wasn’t in need of a reminder of how much of an outsider he was sitting at their table, even though there was a strong one when the food was brought out and he had nothing for himself but a glass he’d taken a few courtesy sips from. He let minutes go by in silence. He wouldn’t pressure them into talking while eating, or pressure them into talking at all for that matter. With an invitation out of the blue, he was sure there was something they felt the need to say. Yet his conscience wouldn’t let him off without a bit of polite conversation.

“Pasta?” He questioned lightly, eyeing the noodles and notable lack of meat in their meal.

“We prefer to eat like humans, as strange as it seems,” Karla smiled politely, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. “The food tastes better, for one, but it just feels more civil.”

“Civility is a luxury,” Erwin hummed in agreement. The werewolves he’d had brief encounters with in Europe had diets consisting almost exclusively of raw meat, so the change was noteworthy.

“Ah--” Karla caught herself, looking at the glass in front of Erwin. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”

“None taken. I’ve learned to alter my parameters of civility for my kind.” As if to prove his politeness, Erwin lifted the glass and tipped it toward the pair in a silent toast before taking another sip. Grisha took that as a cue to speak.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why this arrangement was called.”

“Not particularly, no,” Erwin joked around the rim of the glass between his lips. Grisha continued undeterred.

“Karla has convinced me that it’s a good idea to befriend you and gain your personal protection.”

“Well, as Duke that’s the job the Society has assigned me--”

“Beyond what you’ve been assigned to do.” Grisha cut him off sharply. He certainly didn’t seem the type of man to place tactness very high in priority. “Dukes past have neglected the prospect of protecting the non-Society nonhumans many times over. Peaceful as we may try to be, there is always conflict to be dealt with, and we’d like to minimize costly encounters as much as possible.”

“We want to start a family,” Karla added happily. Grisha nodded lightly.

“As you know, werecreatures thrive wherever humans and the animal they become are native to, and wolves flourish on this country, but with the people native to it, the werewolves nearly disappeared. The werewolves of north America were once great and numerous and spanned the entire continent, but over the centuries we were hunted to near extinction. My mother was the last pureblooded American werewolf and my father German, but regardless of purity, Karla and I still wish to revive the American packs.”

“And you called me here to ask for my blessing?” Erwin laced his fingers under his chin, amused.

“No, we invited you here to ask you to monitor any potential interference. Until we have numbers, we are weak, and you’re the most powerful nonhuman on this coast.” Karla’s eyes shone.

“I don’t suppose I can refuse such high praise.” Erwin smiled. Though the words meant nothing to him, he said them anyway. “Very well. I’ll keep watch and do what I can to protect your growing pack, but remember that my duties are to the Society first.”

It was the first of it, but it was also the most vile. In the end, it was the harshest truth he had to face, even as he made the rest of the promise.

 

two days after the warehouse

~

Eren didn’t know what he was doing anymore. He found himself staring at the door to Erwin’s study, not knocking, hardly breathing, just standing motionless outside of it. He knew Erwin knew he was there. His heartbeat would’ve given him away long ago. Yet Erwin did nothing. Eren did nothing. It was a strange sort of draw between the two of them. Eren wasn’t sure Erwin even cared that he was standing there, though he supposed eventually he’d get annoyed and tell him to come in or go somewhere else. The longer he stood there, the louder his heartbeat seemed. He couldn’t tell if it were actually getting louder or if it was just his imagination, but he was so focused on the sound of it that the room had started to spin by the time he heard Erwin’s voice.

“Do you have something to say, Eren?”

Unsure if he was still breathing, Eren forced air into his lungs and pushed the door open. He wasn’t really even sure what he was so nervous about. He was only aware of the thoughts whirling around in his mind in some tumultuous mess. He steeled himself for nothing. Erwin was his master, but that, Petra and Armin’s words, and whatever persona they’d caused Eren to project upon him had not changed the fact that Erwin was calm and collected at heart.

“I’m back,” he tried, shrugging and looking sheepish, feeling slightly ashamed of himself for unintentionally incriminating Erwin. It wasn’t as if he were there against his will. He hadn’t known much outside of life with Erwin, but he also couldn’t think of any place he’d rather be.

“Good. The sun will be down in about an hour, so we can start hunting then. My guess is that we’ve barely scratched the surface of this, but they seem to be primarily around one specific area.” Erwin waved Eren closer to point at a map on his desk, drawn on in red with dots and the clean script of Erwin’s careful handwriting. “Here. Right about where we found the last three. Either they’re being turned there, or dumped, but it’s worth looking into.”

Eren nodded along, but he wasn’t really listening. He scanned the map accordingly, wondering why he had so much appreciation for Erwin’s writing before he’d remembered himself.

“How long do you think it’ll take to clean all of this up?” He tried to meet Erwin’s eye, but the closest he could get was his chin, so Eren’s eyes settled there instead.

Erwin hummed tonelessly. “A few days. A week or so at the very worst. Though that might also depend on whether or not we find the source of all these newbloods. If Hanji’s estimate is correct, the actual purge shouldn’t take more than the time it takes to track them down.”

“So where’s the danger in all of this?”

The second the words left Eren’s lips, he regretted them. Erwin’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and Eren’s face burned under his gaze.

“This many newbloods could be detrimental to the human population here, not to mention risking exposing non-human creatures--”

“No, I mean--” Eren felt his throat tighten. He’d just interrupted Erwin, something he was almost positive he’d never done in his entire life. “I get that. Sorry, I just meant how is it dangerous to us? It should be easy for the two of us if we keep it under control.”

“I’m not sure what you mean by this, Eren.” Erwin crossed his arms and sat back against his desk, just barely leaning on it. His eyes were speculative, as usual, but showed a hint of genuine curiosity as well. It wasn’t something Eren could recall seeing either, so it took him off guard for a moment.

“I did a little bit of talking with Armin and Petra,” he started quietly. Erwin waited without interrupting him. He caught his courage in the silence. “I was thinking maybe it’d go faster if we split up. Both of us can easily handle them, and once I point you in the right direction, you won’t have any trouble finding them, right?”

“All of that is true,” Erwin conceded. “But what was it they said to you that made you think this all of a sudden?”

“Well,” Eren looked at his feet and wrang out his hands like a little kid waiting to be punished. “They just suggested I have a little more independence so I’m my own person.” He let the sentence trail off, waiting for Erwin’s input, but none came. He picked up a new, higher tone. “But I mean, what do they know? They’re not indebted to you and they certainly don’t understand. I mean--”

“I think that’s a fine idea.” Erwin said simply.

“Fine?”

“Yes. They’re right. You hardly get any time to yourself, and that’s no fault of yours.”

“Y-yeah, I guess.”

“Perhaps it would be a good change of pace.” Erwin stepped closer to Eren, a sweeping step that put him within reach. “It’d make you much more useful to me, that’s for sure.”

“It would, sir.” Eren added the ‘sir’ in hopes of quelling the strangeness in his stomach at Erwin’s sudden proximity. He kept his eyes glued to the floor. Erwin’s fingers on his chin shocked him.

The grip was not delicate, nor was it particularly forceful, but the intention was clear so Eren did his best to avoid Erwin’s eyes despite the fingers guiding his chin upwards. He swallowed nervously, habitually. He’d thought Erwin was trying to force him to meet his eye, but the fingers took his chin to one side, craning his neck and stretching out the scarred skin of his shoulder. Going between forms so often, it was rare for Eren to wear shirts in Erwin’s presence, but with his master’s hunger imminent, Eren suddenly felt like his shirt was in the way. He gripped the collar and undid the buttons one by one, watching Erwin out of the corner of his eye for cues, but none came. Wondering if he’d taken too much initiative, he let his shirt hang open for Erwin to make a decision.

When Erwin didn’t move, Eren opened his mouth to say something, a simple prompt, or even a question. The light from Erwin’s window was already growing orange and growing dimmer, and the newbloods would be out soon. Eren had already braced himself for a feeding. Wanting to hurry things along, Eren pushed his shirt out of the way to bare his scarred shoulder.

He jumped a little when Erwin’s cold hands met the raised skin there, but Erwin didn’t bring his mouth any closer to bite him. Instead he skated his fingertips across Eren’s collarbone, then down his sternum until his fingers came to the softness of his solar plexus. His hand lightly traced the pattern of Eren’s abdominal muscles, tightened in surprise, then withdrew entirely. Erwin turned and nodded toward the door.

Eren stared after him incredulously for a moment, watching him walk away.

“You’re not going to…”

“I changed my mind. I’m not hungry.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is short, but it's been so long since I posted that I wanted to get something done. hoping to update more often


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